Hello Granny V & Troppus.
After posting with my decision to leave the forums it was only natural to look back for a day or so to read the replies. I hadn’t intended to post again until I read your kind posts .
I wish for you to understand that there is in no way anything that I even considered for you both to have influenced my decision. Totally the opposite. You both have been more than supportive and understanding and yet through your posts I had felt so much compassion for others. I don't wish for you to feel a heaviness on your heart, yet I know this shows the compassion and sensitivity that you have and can only accept your genuine concerns. Thank you for your thoughts.
Supporting each other and members together as a community shows how much compassion and strength their is on this forum.
One important thing I would ask you both is to reconsider that if a time comes when you need support to consider the value that SANE can have for you. I understand your sadness and by my replying has in some way touched me that had resulted in my submitting to reply.
As you know always I believe in openness and transparency in order for another to feel a sense of originality by who is offering support. I understand this can be difficult for some on forums where this connection cannot always be made. I wish to express that no one was at any fault; I often consider that the genuineness and kindness of a person can overcome the deepest pain in another. I have never hidden this fact.
Without any fault of anyone else I had a moment where I considered how my expression of genuineness had caused another to feel unsafe? I can see how this could happen. Forums offer members to be anonymous if they wish, yet in turn may instil a sense of fear. I understand this and don’t have any grudges; I would have always continued to support and help any member feeling unsure if they wished. So I hope with sincerity that this has been read.
I feel it could be important to help feelings here by sharing that I had been contacted by SANE moderating team who do monitor posts. I had received a kind and respectful message explaining SANE’s purpose. I don’t think SANE would mind If I shared part of their email, which I totally accept as SANE’s ethos: “The Forum is based on an ethos of personal responsibility and mutual support. We have noticed that you offer support to others but share little of yourself and your own struggles; and that taking up a position of helper/ supporter of others without sharing anything tangible about yourself could leave some members feeling unsafe or confused, especially on a Forum with an ethos of mutual support in relation to mental health issues.”
I didn’t consider that I was in a position of taking up helper, but joined to provide voluntary support on occasions in my free time. I didn’t consider that the thoughts and feelings of another as to the support being offered to them would have caused confusion and a feeling of unsafe. I didn’t consider that offering genuine support could have caused this.
SANE has explained very well and did mention if I wanted to consider take a break from the forum. I admit I initially had mixed thoughts about this comment and in my own view if there was a hidden meaning behind it? that I found myself again questioning the effectiveness of my support?. but SANE has I would expect a responsibility to members.
I agree I haven’t shared much of myself for my main purpose was to offer support. In my view SANE’s ethos is for this forum to be mutual and aims to keep members to feel comfortable to be on SANE. I suppose if I had shared more of me may not have guaranteed my genuineness anyway?.
But I seemed to have not complied with SANE’s policy which for members should expect SANE has their interests at heart.
So please continue to use this forum if you feel the need to do so for support when you need it, I would not want anyone to suffer for the importance to get the help you need at the most needy times. But of course you have free will to make your decisions, but consider your own needs first.
It can be a wonderful place to be here on SANE, to feel safe and secure in the knowing that members can speak as they wish with often the deepest of pains possibly never been expressed before. It’s your forum to help express how you feel and for support as you need., But as Troppus commented ‘my posts are in the forum if an member wishes to seek support’.
Your both very kind and thoughtful and have a natural supporting compassion, for which I will always have memories of our interactions.
Take good care of yourselves and each other,
and who know where our paths may cross in the future?