First of all *big hug*, are you feeling and more reasonable after you wrote all this?
Secondly, I didn't mean to suggest you should have done things differently, and I am certainly not suggesting the the 100% of the issues sit on your shoulders, which is why I suggest you try and look at the situation as if it were your best mate and her boyfriend, and what you'd say to her, or think about the situation. Ok, texting earlier is a sensible option, its courtesy, and changing the way you ask about a chore is also a good idea but you ARE NOT RESPONSIBLE for your partner getting a sulk on. No-one should be emotionally blackmailed in a relationship to the extent that they avoid every situation which would cause, in this example, a sulk.
I've never lived with a man other than my father, but my work mates are forever complaining about their other halves, about their reluctance to do chores, leaving dirty marks over the floor, not putting laundry in the bin. Some of them cry occasionally because they've had a barny with their husband who isn't being considerate to their needs... but I dare say the husband is at work telling his mates that he doesn't understand why his Mrs is getting upset about things. What I am trying to say is you aren't the only one to have issues with your other half, but its how you learn and move on from them that counts. I always thought relationships are about being there for each other and growing together. But I am the one who's single here lol so what do I know?!
You sound a lot like me in how you're describing yourself at the moment with work etc. Calling off work once in 18 months is damn good going when you're depressed. Try and be proud that this is the one time in so long. Changing the way you think about yourself is not easy. I think its a bit like that programme "Fat: A Year to Save My Life" where a very obese person gets this American motivational fitness trainer to help them turn their life around. Ever single time the person gets so far down the road of improvements, loses weight, feels better about themselves and then something goes wrong and they suddenly stop participating, and start putting the weight back on. For me, at least, changing my thinking is like that. I start out well, but hit a rock and never get back to the fight, until I am back at the bottom of the pit again. You (and I) have to keep trying and get back up after every fall instead of staying on our hands and knees clawing at the slope as we slide back down again.
How about trying to do something nice for yourself before your boyfriend comes home? Something indulgent that you can't enjoy with company? A hot bath, your favourite music, a special drink...
I'm around if you want to chat
You are braver than you think, and stronger than you know.