good news bad news?

[loubat]

Not sure???head racing with all different thoughts
Well had meeting today and have been accepted into a home which fits my needs
In on minute I am happy as can get out hospital but in next scared and don't want to move
It was all explained so I understood slowly so could take it in and its written down also so can read it if forgot
There is stages there that how she explained it so to start with a lot support and care and moving on to be able to live bit more on own but stay in home if need support
There is daily activities days out and one on one support in getting back into real world she said they encourage people to learn how to look after self and maybe even college courses or work placements
All sounds good as I write and should feel grateful instead of being selfish and not wanting things to change
It is long way from were I am from so my mh team will change which is a big worry not got family so moving away could be good new start I suppose
A place with be available by the end of this month and doctors and legal bullshit have agreed to move but with close supervison of 6 months I told them I want to visit a few times first so be going first time next week
MY head feels like it going to burst Sorry for moaning I know I should be happy xxx

[ooby]

I would be anxious/cautious too in your position especially having to move a great distance. I hope if you go it proves beneficial for you.

[belle]

That's a lot to take in Lou.
I think you are very sensible asking to visit a few times.
On paper it all looks good and I'm pleased you have this chance, although of course changing you MH team and losing Claire would be a huge change.
If you don't mind where you are except that it feels OK for you and it meets your needs then maybe that is fine. A fresh start with opportunities could be what you need.
Perhaps the worry is who will be there for you if it gets tough going and, probably inevitably, it will have challenges after all you have been through.
I don't cope that well with change and I know it is especially hard for you so it's not surprising you can't decide if it is good or bad news. Sometimes keeping to what feels 'safe' isn't always right but it feels the right thing to do because uncertainty is so hard to feel you have any control over.
I think they would listen to your concerns and keep talking with you until you decide what you want to do.
There is plenty of time to take it all in and think on before you have to decide.
xxx

[loubat]

Thanks you ooby hope so too xxx

[loubat]

Hey belle I don't know wot think had panic attack earlier all too much I dont know xxx

[belle]

Try to slow down Lou.
There is plenty of time.
No decisions need to be made today or tomorrow....
Maybe just give yourself a few days just to take in the ideas which have been presented to you today?
It must have been quite a shock even though you thought something was up when the sw and Claire were due for a visit.
You can't even think of making a decision without visiting and seeing it and the people who would take on your MH care etc.
It's a lot to take on board.
How about make a list of pros and cons in the next few days - ie good reasons for accepting the place and possible issues of moving and see how it balances out? Take your time doing it.
It's a big decision so it deserves to be given lots of time to make.
Is Ruth on duty today? You like talking to her about things.
We are here too.
Keep safe Lou.
xxx

[loubat]

Thanks belle
I did good and bad drawing with Claire today and I said that I was worriedd as the other home did not work out and I worried for the people I will be with I know that sounds horrible but I not used to being round people like me
I said I worry as I will not know anybody and worry as I do not like days out
I said I like idea for I want to live in nice place not be here and I like that there is music and sensory room and I like that I would not be in hospital for christmas
Yes Ruth is here I have tried talking but my talking is very fast as I panic in a lot but she coming in and check in me now said can talk when I want to
I have a lot more questions now that I have thought since Claire and my sw left but I getting upset as I don't know answers
I feel a bit upset as the home I visited other weekthat closer wont accept me as I have other issues as well as autism
Just feel like I have to go there and I not have choice as no one else want me xxx

[belle]

Please don't say that about yourself Lou.
Everyone is wanted. I know it might not feel like that.
You are bound to have more questions.
Try to write them down so you don't have to worry about keep remembering them.
You can work through them slowly.
If it doesn't feel right there must be other places so try not to feel forced into going there if it's not right.
It might be good but a visit is the first step.
I'm glad Ruth is around.
Try not to worry too much.
xxx

[loubat]

It is only true belle no one does want me it keep happeninh
I worry for visit as do not like the car on motorway maybe I just tell them I will go so just once in car
Have had totake some thing as I can notcalm down did not want it it a lot too much in my head belle I do not like xxx

[belle]

Sorry you have had to take something to calm you but maybe it will help a little?
It has been a lot to take in in one day.
No wonder your head is bursting.
I remember you don't like travelling. Maybe see how it goes before you decide how many times to visit.
Please try to rest now and we can keep talking about it tomorrow - yes?
((xxx))