Glad you sound a bit calmer today.
Sounds like you have a good dr looking after your hand and they have a clear plan for your treatment which is very good.
I was down last week after my hospital appt and panicking too. It's hard to cope with difficult news I think. I don't think you are silly.
Well I'm not giving up on you! Not sure if that's good news or bad news! !
There are kind people in the world but I know some days is doesn't feel like it and it's hard hang on to that.