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Social skills-what does it mean?

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ooby
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Social skills-what does it mean?

Postby ooby » Sat Nov 02, 2013 5:39 pm

I have very poor social skills apparently and limited ability to live independently in the community . I have yet to find a definitive article defining what social skills are . I am guessing there is more than just one component.
A chronic problem of mine is social interaction is this by itself proof of poor social skills or only a part of what poor social skills entails?
Can someone please help.

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judithj
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Re: Social skills-what does it mean?

Postby judithj » Sat Nov 02, 2013 10:10 pm

I'll have a think and see what I can come up with, but meds are interfering with ability to think atm, hugs, Judith xxx


Leonard
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Re: Social skills-what does it mean?

Postby Leonard » Sun Nov 03, 2013 4:36 am

Hello, I'm Leonard
You seem to have really good written social skills, this is a form of social skill I guess. Shyness and fear, paranoia whatever can stop you from socializing directly with people (like the Smiths song says)
social skills can mean a number of things. I hate talking on the phone and I find groups of more than two or three people very stressful. writing in conversation form like this is definitely a social skill. Then I suppose there are different styles of interacting, You might find that you can speak to a whole room full of people but have to whisper to individuals, or that you can manage a group of people without saying much at all. so I wouldn't write anyone off as having very poor social skills. Maybe it's more of a matter of finding the right approach. Also I think there is always a place for quieter people we can't all be loud and confident, it would be a pretty noisy world (noisier)

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ooby
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Re: Social skills-what does it mean?

Postby ooby » Sun Nov 03, 2013 12:19 pm

Online it's not face to face, there's no body language and it's verbal as opposed to non verbal. I think that makes some difference.
I still struggle with some elements of online participation though. Especially chit chat threads and giving emotional support. I'm more in my element if i can provide a link to support.

potsandpans
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Re: Social skills-what does it mean?

Postby potsandpans » Sun Nov 03, 2013 2:33 pm

As nobody here knows you face-to-face, it's difficult to say. Did the person who said it give you any idea?

It could be that you're giving people the wrong body language. Maybe you seem aggressive when you're not. Maybe you don't seem welcoming when you want to be. Maybe you don't appear to care when you do. Maybe you don't stand straight and thus give the idea you're downtrodden. Maybe you don't deal with conflicts well. The list is endless.

I expect there are self-help guides on the net or in book-form if you can't afford an image consultant, which is who MPs and others in important jobs consult. Could you stand in front of a mirror and see what kind of impression people have of you?

potsandpans
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Re: Social skills-what does it mean?

Postby potsandpans » Sun Nov 03, 2013 2:49 pm

Whoever told you that you have poor social skills could also have been referring to your anxiety about going out in public or maybe that you misinterpret what people say/mean and react in a way which doesn't promote a positive relationship.

Maybe they meant something else entirely! :?

loubat

Re: Social skills-what does it mean?

Postby loubat » Sun Nov 03, 2013 5:24 pm

Hope you don't mind me posting ooby I have also been told I have poor social skills but don't really understand either some have said due to my autism some have said due to anxiety
I can relate to people in none face to talk but have used coping skills were I copy or follow others in so called chit chat as I find it had to start conversation or wot to say to continue a conversation. I also find hard to understand jokes or sarcasm sometimes which can be difficult.
BUt I find groups and eye contact in face to face the hardest and not sure how that can be changed
BUt one thing I find can help with talking more to people is if its a subject that I know about or like I can then at least stay focused
Sorry if I NOt given much to help you but I think we are all different and some people are better at things than others and some enjoy own company rather than others but it can become lonely. MAybe practising wot we find difficult to try to make it more natural is the best thing to try like you do going out comfort zone shopping etc take care Lou xxx

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ooby
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Re: Social skills-what does it mean?

Postby ooby » Sun Nov 03, 2013 6:30 pm

loubat wrote:Hope you don't mind me posting ooby I have also been told I have poor social skills but don't really understand either some have said due to my autism some have said due to anxiety
I can relate to people in none face to talk but have used coping skills were I copy or follow others in so called chit chat as I find it had to start conversation or wot to say to continue a conversation. I also find hard to understand jokes or sarcasm sometimes which can be difficult.


I can really identify with the difficulties of starting and sustaining a conversation.

loubat wrote:BUt I find groups and eye contact in face to face the hardest and not sure how that can be changed
BUt one thing I find can help with talking more to people is if its a subject that I know about or like I can then at least stay focused


Yes this makes sense, in my experience.

Thanks for your reply.

loubat

Re: Social skills-what does it mean?

Postby loubat » Sun Nov 03, 2013 6:41 pm

It is ok glad you could see similar problems maybe if you would want or could help we could maybe practise with each other xxx


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