Search

Support Forum

SANE Support Forum

my dad is dying

For sharing your experiences and feelings about mental illness
Lucretia
Posts: 8716
Joined: Sun Jan 16, 2011 11:02 am
Location: birmingham

my dad is dying

Postby Lucretia » Tue Oct 22, 2013 6:45 pm

i don't know what to do
It's nice to be important ,but it's more important to be nice
xxxxxx


non muggle and proud

User avatar
judithj
Posts: 22771
Joined: Fri Feb 29, 2008 5:25 pm
Location: Have you ever thought what it's like, to be wanderers in the fourth dimension?

Re: my dad is dying

Postby judithj » Tue Oct 22, 2013 7:04 pm

oh my dear, that must be so confusing for you: on the one hand you have all these bad memories, but on the other hand he is your Dad. You don't have to do anything that you don't want to, you don't have to see him if you don't want to. Try to remember though, that your mum might be upset - after all, they were married, and she may have memories of happy times that you don't share.
If you don't want to see him, but at the same time feel that you need to say good-bye in some way, then you might consider writing to him. However, no-one expects you to do anything or to pretend to feel anything that you don't, hugs Judith xxx

loubat

Re: my dad is dying

Postby loubat » Tue Oct 22, 2013 8:55 pm

Lu I so sorry you are confuse and hurting I wish had words to help but I also did not know wot to do but a regret I had and always will is I never see for last time to try leave things a bit more peace full or questioni if any hopefully answered but it is your decision and wot ever it is its right send in you lots love Lou xxx

Lucretia
Posts: 8716
Joined: Sun Jan 16, 2011 11:02 am
Location: birmingham

Re: my dad is dying

Postby Lucretia » Tue Oct 22, 2013 9:10 pm

thanks
i cant choose what to do
I don't know what to do I feel sad and confused and scared I cant choose important things
hes dying I need to make sure he does peacefully
seeing him might make me ill
I don't know I just wish my cpn was not away so she could choose for me x
It's nice to be important ,but it's more important to be nice
xxxxxx


non muggle and proud

User avatar
judithj
Posts: 22771
Joined: Fri Feb 29, 2008 5:25 pm
Location: Have you ever thought what it's like, to be wanderers in the fourth dimension?

Re: my dad is dying

Postby judithj » Wed Oct 23, 2013 8:43 am

What does your mum say? As i say, you don't "have" to do anything, but you might wish in years to come that you'd made your peace with him. Why not write to him, explaining that you're sorry he's ill and asking him if he would want you to come to see him? hugs, Judith xxx

Lucretia
Posts: 8716
Joined: Sun Jan 16, 2011 11:02 am
Location: birmingham

Re: my dad is dying

Postby Lucretia » Wed Oct 23, 2013 11:55 am

Judith x I thought hard last night ,if I go see him I will kill myself ,I couldn't take the feelings and emotions it would stir up
I need to think about my mum as well as myself ,she is a good mum ,he was a bad dad
im not going to see him
I will write a letter and ask somebody to pass it on
I feel guilty but whats the point of me dying too
im his daughter he is my dad but he should have thought about that everytime he hurt me
x
It's nice to be important ,but it's more important to be nice
xxxxxx


non muggle and proud

User avatar
judithj
Posts: 22771
Joined: Fri Feb 29, 2008 5:25 pm
Location: Have you ever thought what it's like, to be wanderers in the fourth dimension?

Re: my dad is dying

Postby judithj » Wed Oct 23, 2013 1:42 pm

Well done - I think that's the right decision. He has hurt you badly and you have the rest of your life in front of you. Writing to him gives you closure but without hurting yourself further, hugs judith xxx

Lucretia
Posts: 8716
Joined: Sun Jan 16, 2011 11:02 am
Location: birmingham

Re: my dad is dying

Postby Lucretia » Wed Oct 23, 2013 5:12 pm

thanks Judith xxxxxxxxx
It's nice to be important ,but it's more important to be nice
xxxxxx


non muggle and proud

DC07
Posts: 1177
Joined: Thu Jun 21, 2012 3:28 pm

Re: my dad is dying

Postby DC07 » Thu Oct 24, 2013 1:19 am

Just read this, sorry about all the upset, but you are right to not go see him. He has had plenty of opportunity to earn forgiveness and has never stepped up, nothing changes now. Despite the pain you will feel, you need to write the letter then just walk away. But we're here for you xxx
I'm not mad, I'm furious

User avatar
judithj
Posts: 22771
Joined: Fri Feb 29, 2008 5:25 pm
Location: Have you ever thought what it's like, to be wanderers in the fourth dimension?

Re: my dad is dying

Postby judithj » Thu Oct 24, 2013 1:32 pm

How are you doing, Lu? hugs Judith xxx


Return to “Mutual Support Group”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: Google [Bot] and 15 guests