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taking medication

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umbrella4therain
Posts: 2829
Joined: Tue Apr 22, 2008 1:48 pm

taking medication

Postby umbrella4therain » Fri May 31, 2013 1:04 pm

I am currently medication free. My psychiatrist prescribed me venlafaxine and lithium last week and I am yet to start taking either. I am not sure that I want to take them.

To use meds or not to use meds has become an almost philosophical debate in my head. I dont think I need medicating. I've tried so much and nothing has worked. I know venlafaxine is bad for withdrawal another factor against just trying it. I dont think I need them. I dont think Im ill. I think its just me and that I need to learn self control. The debate takes on a spiritual inclination. Part of me is afraid of going it alone and that the psych would be hostile to the idea of me turning round at this stage and refusing. Plus the psych said he is "referring me to a bipolar specialist" but there is likely no point if I dont take meds. I feel it is perhaps time to disengage with services completely. They cant help me and I feel ok at the moment.

I dont see the psych again till August and dont really want to have to phone to tell them Im not going to take them but see little option if I dont take them. I feel ok at the moment and dont want to pollute my body unnecessarily.

belle
Posts: 5410
Joined: Sat Nov 19, 2011 11:20 pm

Re: taking medication

Postby belle » Fri May 31, 2013 1:27 pm

Hello.
That's a tricky dilemma.
Would you psych support a period of being med free and then review you? It seems to me if you have got this far it is worth trying before going into a new meds regime?
I think the psych might think it is a positive move and be willing to let you try (even if they think it is against their 'expert' opinion). I don't think it would be right for them to wash their hands of you if you want to try being med free. Certainly they should keep the follow up appt in August.
However, if you decide to disengage with them altogether could make it difficult to get back into the system quickly/comfortably should you need to.
I often wonder what I would be like if I came off all my psych meds tbh.
Why not try to get the psych on side a let you have a trial on the basis that you will comply if you decline?
Just my thoughts.
I hope you get on OK.
xxx

umbrella4therain
Posts: 2829
Joined: Tue Apr 22, 2008 1:48 pm

Re: taking medication

Postby umbrella4therain » Fri May 31, 2013 2:06 pm

Thank you. It is tricky. They cant force me to take them but always seem to convince me into it. Mostly because I cant be bothered to fight them on it. I guess I just want to avoid that confrontation. I think often there is a fear that if you dont take them you will become acutely unwell. The response to me coming off meds at my last appointment prior to this one after refusing his offers of multiple meds and deciding to do a trial as you described, was for other professionals that I had seen in the interim to write a letter saying that I had visibly deteriorated. I dont think it is true. I was in a shit place when I was on lithium. Its just being medication free, people think something has to be done ie get you back on the drugs. Its like a panic.
So in his mind and my mums I did decline but not mine. It seems sensible the regime he suggests given that lithium stopped the high (if I even ever was high) but not the low, to try adding an antidepressant. But I dont want to get back on that bandwagon. And I dont feel low at the moment. I did a week or so ago but I am through that now. I think you are right about disengaging. I was once told by my last psychiatrist I would probably need to stay on medication for the rest of my life and he would never recommend me to come off it. I was only 22. Given that the medication didnt even work and he had never seen me med free (I had been solidly on meds for 8 years) I decided to come off and it was like waking up. It was like regaining a personality, it was wonderful. I keep ending up back on them. I admit lithium showed promise at the beginning but side effects etc. i dont know. I just want a life. I want a job. I want a purpose. xxx

umbrella4therain
Posts: 2829
Joined: Tue Apr 22, 2008 1:48 pm

Re: taking medication

Postby umbrella4therain » Fri May 31, 2013 2:34 pm

Thanks Lu. You do make some good points and I am glad that you are taking the lithium if it helps you. I think you are right that for some people medication is vital. The issue is its hard for me to see that the medication does work for me. I was on 1000mg of lithium and felt suicidal, much worse than I am now. I resent taking medication and Im starting to question if everything has been over medicalised. This is just me. Im not ill. I just dont fit and medication wont help, neither has therapy. Im just me and its a blessing and a curse that I have to learn to live with.

You are right that I need to think hard about it. I just dont want to start the venlafaxine because its so hard to come off from what Ive read. I am putting off attempting to make contact with the psychiatrist (and I say attempt because he isnt easy to get hold of) because I know I will most likely end up feeling dis empowered. xxx

umbrella4therain
Posts: 2829
Joined: Tue Apr 22, 2008 1:48 pm

Re: taking medication

Postby umbrella4therain » Tue Jun 04, 2013 10:30 pm

Thanks Lu. Im not taking them but haven't contacted psych yet. I dont want to be labelled non compliant and be treated with the contempt I fear that will attract but I cant bring myself to take them and doubt that I need them. I feel ok at the moment and that is so rare. I dont want to jeopardise that by taking meds. Xxx


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