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i dont want to type a topic!

Posted: Sat Mar 02, 2013 8:02 pm
by Lucretia
I feel like I want to be mean to people because I feel awful
I cant though cos I cant be mean
I want something horrible to happen to certain people.rich politicians and neighbours who are making my life a nightmare
im not nice really then am I
im angry but sad to because I keep crying
the only thing in the world I love unconditionally is maddie and she ill
im fed up
not normally fed up
I hate the world right now and to save me the thoughts of suicide and the crap that goes along with that id rather the world would end
why people think im nice is beyond me
although I am nice I think
I wonder what its like to think like a normal human being

Re: i dont want to type a topic!

Posted: Sat Mar 02, 2013 8:41 pm
by toxicmind
if you can tell people when you are down and low why cant you be nasty or at lease express that if thats how you are at this moment. will anyone think any less of you

Re: i dont want to type a topic!

Posted: Sat Mar 02, 2013 9:24 pm
by DC07
what's brought this on hon? xx

Re: i dont want to type a topic!

Posted: Sat Mar 02, 2013 9:36 pm
by Lucretia
whats brought it on is
im never happy!
feel like im incapable of being
ive been worried about money a lot
now I find out mum will get her dla still when the benefits change
and shes just got a cheque yesterday for £5000 and im still not happy even though we don't have to worry about money
the neighbour actually isn't being to bad with her music
but
im not happy
maddie has a virus and isn't severely ill
but
im not happy
im never happy
I feel awful
truly awful tonight and thers no reason why I should
I feel guilt about feeling bad but I just do
if I could sleep just for a short while and get some respite from the thoughts
I feel like im the only one in the world who doesn't know love
I have it from my mum but that isn't what I want
I want love like others feel
im a pain in the neck ,a m iserable selfish little cow
incapable of feeling happiness even when things are ok
gggggggggrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
to me

Re: i dont want to type a topic!

Posted: Sat Mar 02, 2013 10:28 pm
by DC07
slap!!!!

now will you stop being so bloody hard on yourself??!!

you've been on a rollercoaster these last few years simply getting away from your D a d and you are tired. Money is not the answer to lifes pain, it just helps a little.

you need a proper sleep pattern, its been up the wall recently. Has anyone helped you with sleep hygeine information? Maybe you and your mum could get a really good relaxation tape and listen to it together as you've both been stressed.

but please stop calling yourself names. xx

Re: i dont want to type a topic!

Posted: Sat Mar 02, 2013 10:41 pm
by Lucretia
I don't know what to say really
just
thank you for helping me
x
I love it when you tell me off :? sometimes I need to be put in my place!
x
thanks dc

Re: i dont want to type a topic!

Posted: Sat Mar 02, 2013 10:52 pm
by uglyducklin
Sorry low on words but please don't beat yourself up. Take care xx

Re: i dont want to type a topic!

Posted: Sat Mar 02, 2013 10:56 pm
by Lucretia
love to you
lovely duckling
xx

Re: i dont want to type a topic!

Posted: Sat Mar 02, 2013 11:10 pm
by toxicmind
what is beating yourself up going to achieve? apart from making you feel a lot more crap than you do right now. who knows in the future you may find a bf but for now focus on getting yourself well or at least on a even par

Re: i dont want to type a topic!

Posted: Sun Mar 03, 2013 1:16 am
by DC07
hope you get some good sleep tonight honey xx