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i dont want to type a topic!

For sharing your experiences and feelings about mental illness
Lucretia
Posts: 8716
Joined: Sun Jan 16, 2011 11:02 am
Location: birmingham

i dont want to type a topic!

Postby Lucretia » Sat Mar 02, 2013 8:02 pm

I feel like I want to be mean to people because I feel awful
I cant though cos I cant be mean
I want something horrible to happen to certain people.rich politicians and neighbours who are making my life a nightmare
im not nice really then am I
im angry but sad to because I keep crying
the only thing in the world I love unconditionally is maddie and she ill
im fed up
not normally fed up
I hate the world right now and to save me the thoughts of suicide and the crap that goes along with that id rather the world would end
why people think im nice is beyond me
although I am nice I think
I wonder what its like to think like a normal human being
It's nice to be important ,but it's more important to be nice
xxxxxx


non muggle and proud

toxicmind
Posts: 523
Joined: Fri Mar 01, 2013 9:30 pm

Re: i dont want to type a topic!

Postby toxicmind » Sat Mar 02, 2013 8:41 pm

if you can tell people when you are down and low why cant you be nasty or at lease express that if thats how you are at this moment. will anyone think any less of you

DC07
Posts: 1177
Joined: Thu Jun 21, 2012 3:28 pm

Re: i dont want to type a topic!

Postby DC07 » Sat Mar 02, 2013 9:24 pm

what's brought this on hon? xx
I'm not mad, I'm furious

Lucretia
Posts: 8716
Joined: Sun Jan 16, 2011 11:02 am
Location: birmingham

Re: i dont want to type a topic!

Postby Lucretia » Sat Mar 02, 2013 9:36 pm

whats brought it on is
im never happy!
feel like im incapable of being
ive been worried about money a lot
now I find out mum will get her dla still when the benefits change
and shes just got a cheque yesterday for £5000 and im still not happy even though we don't have to worry about money
the neighbour actually isn't being to bad with her music
but
im not happy
maddie has a virus and isn't severely ill
but
im not happy
im never happy
I feel awful
truly awful tonight and thers no reason why I should
I feel guilt about feeling bad but I just do
if I could sleep just for a short while and get some respite from the thoughts
I feel like im the only one in the world who doesn't know love
I have it from my mum but that isn't what I want
I want love like others feel
im a pain in the neck ,a m iserable selfish little cow
incapable of feeling happiness even when things are ok
gggggggggrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
to me
It's nice to be important ,but it's more important to be nice
xxxxxx


non muggle and proud

DC07
Posts: 1177
Joined: Thu Jun 21, 2012 3:28 pm

Re: i dont want to type a topic!

Postby DC07 » Sat Mar 02, 2013 10:28 pm

slap!!!!

now will you stop being so bloody hard on yourself??!!

you've been on a rollercoaster these last few years simply getting away from your D a d and you are tired. Money is not the answer to lifes pain, it just helps a little.

you need a proper sleep pattern, its been up the wall recently. Has anyone helped you with sleep hygeine information? Maybe you and your mum could get a really good relaxation tape and listen to it together as you've both been stressed.

but please stop calling yourself names. xx
I'm not mad, I'm furious

Lucretia
Posts: 8716
Joined: Sun Jan 16, 2011 11:02 am
Location: birmingham

Re: i dont want to type a topic!

Postby Lucretia » Sat Mar 02, 2013 10:41 pm

I don't know what to say really
just
thank you for helping me
x
I love it when you tell me off :? sometimes I need to be put in my place!
x
thanks dc
It's nice to be important ,but it's more important to be nice
xxxxxx


non muggle and proud

uglyducklin
Posts: 2351
Joined: Sat Feb 13, 2010 7:57 pm

Re: i dont want to type a topic!

Postby uglyducklin » Sat Mar 02, 2013 10:52 pm

Sorry low on words but please don't beat yourself up. Take care xx

Lucretia
Posts: 8716
Joined: Sun Jan 16, 2011 11:02 am
Location: birmingham

Re: i dont want to type a topic!

Postby Lucretia » Sat Mar 02, 2013 10:56 pm

love to you
lovely duckling
xx
It's nice to be important ,but it's more important to be nice
xxxxxx


non muggle and proud

toxicmind
Posts: 523
Joined: Fri Mar 01, 2013 9:30 pm

Re: i dont want to type a topic!

Postby toxicmind » Sat Mar 02, 2013 11:10 pm

what is beating yourself up going to achieve? apart from making you feel a lot more crap than you do right now. who knows in the future you may find a bf but for now focus on getting yourself well or at least on a even par

DC07
Posts: 1177
Joined: Thu Jun 21, 2012 3:28 pm

Re: i dont want to type a topic!

Postby DC07 » Sun Mar 03, 2013 1:16 am

hope you get some good sleep tonight honey xx
I'm not mad, I'm furious


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