I am getting worse, for a month, no, longer i have been full of this energy, like nervous energy, that i have been told comes from my risperidone, i had halved my dose as advice of the dr, but couldnt cope with the screaming in my head all the time, told her i need something else to stop this energy as it is making me climb the frikkin walls, i cant rest or sleep properly, even now i want to just run and run untill i collapse or die. it is taking over my life i cant even sit still for more than a minute without fidgeting or having to get up to walk around. I drive my wife and kids crazy caues i drum my fingers or have a permenent jittery leg to try and calm myself.
Worse is i know what damage it can cause, adrenaline rushing through my system all the time is a dangerous thing to have.
Dr just told me to retake my normal dose of risperidone, not even listening about the energy, i feel anxious at seeing her this friday in case she does not do something as it is making me ill, dont want to change to another one in the practice as the last time i tried they "convinced" me to change my meds completely, making me really ill
"All the promises I made, just to let you down, you believed in me but I`m broken. I have nothing left and all I feel is this cruel wanting" -lost in paradise [Evanessence]