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psychiatrists

For sharing your experiences and feelings about mental illness
belle
Posts: 5410
Joined: Sat Nov 19, 2011 11:20 pm

Re: psychiatrists

Postby belle » Mon Oct 29, 2012 4:43 pm

Hi Lu.
I don't think it's you.
Tbh some of them seem to be a rather strange breed - but then I guess you get that in all walks of life.
However, when they hold such a powerful postition they can be very intimidating.
Whilst to them we are patients, a name on a clinic list, someone on their case load, and hopefully more to some of the better ones, to us it is of the uttmost importance they know us as individuals and treat us with respect and wisdom.
I know services are stretched, they are only human etc but it is so vital to have a positive relationship, especially when you may be in crisis and well informed direction needs to be given.
I say all this about to meet my new shrink tomorrow for the first time after having the same one for 10 or more years previously. I am very anxious about it, so please think of me tomorrow!
Take care.
xxx

belle
Posts: 5410
Joined: Sat Nov 19, 2011 11:20 pm

Re: psychiatrists

Postby belle » Mon Oct 29, 2012 4:46 pm

Thank you xxx
You OK?

stalwart
Posts: 1517
Joined: Fri Aug 14, 2009 6:49 pm

Re: psychiatrists

Postby stalwart » Mon Oct 29, 2012 5:02 pm

Hi Sweety,

I'd say the feeling that your psychiatrists aren't interested in you probably does have something to do with your low self esteem and social anxiety - but only to a certain extent.

As it's very important to you to feel that people are interested in you and care about you, when they don't show much evidence of it it hurts you very deeply. In normal life this is a feeling you need to learn to manage. That is what psychiatrists and counsellors are there to help you do.

It's the psychiatrist's job to understand that this is a major vulnerability for you and to find some way to put you at ease and gain your trust, while also making clear that you will need to make a concerted effort to try and trust him even though it's hard for you. You need to be able to work together on this, and perhaps he is making this very difficult for you.

If he's not doing that then you're never going to trust him enough to be honest with him, and he can't treat you properly. So he's failing in his duty as a psychiatrist. The fact that he loses your notes probably isn't grounds for a formal complaint. Mental health services are over-stretched and he probably does have a ridiculous caseload, so there are going to be mistakes. However, I think you should talk to your cpn about it and see if there's any way she can communicate to him the impact this is having on you. The fact that you had such a negative experience with your previous psych is going to make it even harder to trust the new one, and he should be taking that into account.

Hope things get better with it xxx
Ex nihilo nihil fit

stalwart
Posts: 1517
Joined: Fri Aug 14, 2009 6:49 pm

Re: psychiatrists

Postby stalwart » Mon Oct 29, 2012 5:02 pm

Hi Sweety,

I'd say the feeling that your psychiatrists aren't interested in you probably does have something to do with your low self esteem and social anxiety - but only to a certain extent.

As it's very important to you to feel that people are interested in you and care about you, when they don't show much evidence of it it hurts you very deeply. In normal life this is a feeling you need to learn to manage. That is what psychiatrists and counsellors are there to help you do.

It's the psychiatrist's job to understand that this is a major vulnerability for you and to find some way to put you at ease and gain your trust, while also making clear that you will need to make a concerted effort to try and trust him even though it's hard for you. You need to be able to work together on this, and perhaps he is making this very difficult for you.

If he's not doing that then you're never going to trust him enough to be honest with him, and he can't treat you properly. So he's failing in his duty as a psychiatrist. The fact that he loses your notes probably isn't grounds for a formal complaint. Mental health services are over-stretched and he probably does have a ridiculous caseload, so there are going to be mistakes. However, I think you should talk to your cpn about it and see if there's any way she can communicate to him the impact this is having on you. The fact that you had such a negative experience with your previous psych is going to make it even harder to trust the new one, and he should be taking that into account.

Hope things get better with it xxx
Ex nihilo nihil fit

stalwart
Posts: 1517
Joined: Fri Aug 14, 2009 6:49 pm

Re: psychiatrists

Postby stalwart » Mon Oct 29, 2012 5:33 pm

Okay, what I'm going to say is only my opinion, so some others may disagree with my perspective:

I do think one of the difficulties with psychiatrists is that mental health services don't properly communicate what their purpose and function is, and so we often have unrealistic expectations of what we will get from them. Most of our understanding of psychiatrists comes from what we see on TV - people who spend hours with their patients, listening and discussing their problems through psychoanalysis. But this form of psychiatry exists only at the premium, most expensive end of the mental health profession and very rarely in the NHS.

Really, all they're there to do in the NHS is to prescribe medication and diagnose. That's literally it. They're not employed to provide emotional support and it's not really what they do. So it can be a bit shocking when you go to see them and they barely look at you. They're psychiatrists! They're meant to be caring, empathetic people who show a real interest in us and our emotions!

That's what the CPNs and therapists are there for. The psychiatrist just finds out if our medication is working or if we need a different diagnosis - then they send us on to the people who are trained to help us with our specific problem.

Most of us learn this the hard way, when we have an extremely disappointing first appointment with a psychiatrist and realise that they're not the people who are really going to help make us better. That job belongs to other people in the services.

So you may need to adjust your expectations a little in terms of what you are going to get from your psychiatrist. As frustrating as it is, they're not really required to show an interest in us on a day to day basis. Maybe they should, maybe they would do their jobs better if they did, but many psychiatrist went into their profession for reasons other than a profound care and compassion for the mentally ill. They also aren't hired for their intuitive understanding of how people think and behave. They're trained to know the human brain through research and teaching, based on statistical evidence, not instinct, and that's why they sometimes seem to come out with incredibly tactless comments. It's not that they don't give a crap at all. They're not bad people. But they don't necessarily feel obliged to emotionally engage with all their patients.

Basically, I wouldn't invest too much emotionally in what you will get from them. Just treat them like you might a person who works at the bank. Plan with your cpn what you need to say to them before your appointment, work out what you think they need to know, write it down if you have to. Just make sure they have the information they need to do their jobs when you get in there.

If they're emotionally distant, then you need to distance yourself emotionally from them too, or you're going to completely wear yourself out with worry over how they behave towards you, and you need to focus on your relationships with people who are significant in your life, not on a psychiatrist who you will only see every few weeks at the most xxx
Ex nihilo nihil fit

stalwart
Posts: 1517
Joined: Fri Aug 14, 2009 6:49 pm

Re: psychiatrists

Postby stalwart » Mon Oct 29, 2012 5:33 pm

Okay, what I'm going to say is only my opinion, so some others may disagree with my perspective:

I do think one of the difficulties with psychiatrists is that mental health services don't properly communicate what their purpose and function is, and so we often have unrealistic expectations of what we will get from them. Most of our understanding of psychiatrists comes from what we see on TV - people who spend hours with their patients, listening and discussing their problems through psychoanalysis. But this form of psychiatry exists only at the premium, most expensive end of the mental health profession and very rarely in the NHS.

Really, all they're there to do in the NHS is to prescribe medication and diagnose. That's literally it. They're not employed to provide emotional support and it's not really what they do. So it can be a bit shocking when you go to see them and they barely look at you. They're psychiatrists! They're meant to be caring, empathetic people who show a real interest in us and our emotions!

That's what the CPNs and therapists are there for. The psychiatrist just finds out if our medication is working or if we need a different diagnosis - then they send us on to the people who are trained to help us with our specific problem.

Most of us learn this the hard way, when we have an extremely disappointing first appointment with a psychiatrist and realise that they're not the people who are really going to help make us better. That job belongs to other people in the services.

So you may need to adjust your expectations a little in terms of what you are going to get from your psychiatrist. As frustrating as it is, they're not really required to show an interest in us on a day to day basis. Maybe they should, maybe they would do their jobs better if they did, but many psychiatrist went into their profession for reasons other than a profound care and compassion for the mentally ill. They also aren't hired for their intuitive understanding of how people think and behave. They're trained to know the human brain through research and teaching, based on statistical evidence, not instinct, and that's why they sometimes seem to come out with incredibly tactless comments. It's not that they don't give a crap at all. They're not bad people. Some of them care very much indeed, even when they don't seem to show it. But they don't necessarily feel obliged to emotionally engage with all their patients.

Basically, I wouldn't invest too much emotionally in what you will get from them. Just treat them like you might a person who works at the bank. Plan with your cpn what you need to say to them before your appointment, work out what you think they need to know, write it down if you have to. Just make sure they have the information they need to do their jobs when you get in there.

If they're emotionally distant, then you need to distance yourself emotionally from them too, or you're going to completely wear yourself out with worry over how they behave towards you, and you need to focus on your relationships with people who are significant in your life, not on a psychiatrist who you will only see every few weeks at the most xxx
Ex nihilo nihil fit

DC07
Posts: 1177
Joined: Thu Jun 21, 2012 3:28 pm

Re: psychiatrists

Postby DC07 » Mon Oct 29, 2012 7:42 pm

the way I look at it is they are all failed surgeons who couldnt hold a scalpel straight. Now they get to hang round with people who like them have delusional thoughts and think they are God, they just get paid £110k for the privilage.
I'm not mad, I'm furious

User avatar
judithj
Posts: 22771
Joined: Fri Feb 29, 2008 5:25 pm
Location: Have you ever thought what it's like, to be wanderers in the fourth dimension?

Re: psychiatrists

Postby judithj » Mon Oct 29, 2012 7:45 pm

ever hear about the time when God had delusions of grandeur: he thought he was a psychiatrist :lol: hugs, Judith xxx

belle
Posts: 5410
Joined: Sat Nov 19, 2011 11:20 pm

Re: psychiatrists

Postby belle » Mon Oct 29, 2012 7:51 pm

Ha, ha! :lol:
I've never heard that Judith - love it!
I will try to remember that tomorrow if the going gets tough at my appointment.
xxx

muchlove
Posts: 1367
Joined: Sat Feb 18, 2012 10:27 pm

Re: psychiatrists

Postby muchlove » Mon Oct 29, 2012 8:09 pm

Hi L, that second male psych sounds really unprofessional and out of order.
I'm not sure if its the breed of person who wants to be a psychiatrist mine
s odd too. I don't know what to suggest really, just sending hugs.
DC -110k seriously? That's a disgusting amount of money for any person.
X
"You may be laying in the gutter but at least you'll be looking up at the stars."


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