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voices...... talking in my head

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kay
Posts: 1425
Joined: Fri Jan 23, 2009 10:25 pm

voices...... talking in my head

Postby kay » Wed Oct 03, 2012 7:52 pm

Its not what it would ‘normally’ mean though.
Im not hearing other voices talking to me, telling me to do things. Its as if I am talking to other people, I am holding conversations with them, that my thoughts are based on not me ‘thinking’ but on me having the conversation with the person I am thinking about. That makes no sense does it.
The problems I have at the moment are all based on the fact that I cant ‘physically’ talk. During my counseling sessions I can not ‘talk’, I can not even give a written piece of paper to my counselor, I can not sit there with my notes in front of me and read them out aloud.
It has been hurting me so much recently that if my counselor asks me a question I then have the answer, what I would say, in my head. It gets as far as my mouth but then it stops there. Nothing comes out, I cant actually say the words.
Ive notices recently that every thought I have is based on me talking to someone. Like now, its as if I am sat in front of you all talking to you. When something worries me, goes through my head, then its as if my thoughts go through my head but those ‘thoughts’ go through my head as if I am either talking to that person or I am sat talking to someone else about what has happened.
There is so much inside me that wants to be able to sit there and talk. I know that I can not get any ‘further’ until I am able to talk. There is so much written in my notes, my emails to my counselor but as she points out, unless I am able to get past the fact of not being able to talk, facing/solving what is stopping me talking then I am not going to get any further. Im stuck like this.
Still don’t know what is stopping me talking, as I said the ‘answer’ to the questions asked is there in my head, what I want to say is there in my head, but I can not say it.
This isn’t even based on ‘deep’ things, this is just on basic questions about what made me feel a certain way? What went through my head when something happened? How did I feel the week had gone?
Don’t understand.
this does make any sense

grandmaw
Posts: 336
Joined: Thu Jul 30, 2009 12:59 pm

Re: voices...... talking in my head

Postby grandmaw » Wed Oct 03, 2012 8:09 pm

Hi Kay, I was like you many many years ago, I evenually had some physcothearpy to teach me to talk it did wonders but it took years, but you are talking to us all here you have made a start which is something and you can then build on that. I am sorry if this dont make sense but I do really understand where you are coming from, I often say to people to tell me to shut up and its all my physcothearpist fault as she taught me to talk, but its not easy and even now I struggle to say what I really want to, whether that is due to fear or whether its due to shyness Im not sure.
But carry on talking here and others will help you,

kay
Posts: 1425
Joined: Fri Jan 23, 2009 10:25 pm

Re: voices...... talking in my head

Postby kay » Wed Oct 03, 2012 10:12 pm

As I have said before, I don’t think it can be shyness. My counselor knows ‘me’, in some ways I think she often knows the answer to the question she is asking me but I can not physically say it. She knows me, nothing is going to ‘shock’ her, I am not going to cause her pain or make her angry towards me so I don’t get what is holding me back. she knows that side of me so what is holding me back? its there in my mouth, i go to say it, my body makes the 'actions' of going to say something but i cant make that next stage to talk.
so frustration. makes me angry, makes me feel so stupid. confused.
every thought is done as if i am talking, or preparing myself to talk,
even when i dont feel well it is as im i am trying to say something, it physically feels like i am saying something but i know im not. this 'feeling' has happened when others around and so i know i am not actually saying anything and yet it feels like i am.
tired. alone.

muchlove
Posts: 1367
Joined: Sat Feb 18, 2012 10:27 pm

Re: voices...... talking in my head

Postby muchlove » Thu Oct 04, 2012 1:34 pm

Hi Kay
I'm having this problem too. I really don't know what to suggest but wanted you to know it happens to others too. I hope you find some way to deal with it, if you do, please let me know!
X
"You may be laying in the gutter but at least you'll be looking up at the stars."


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