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cursed

For sharing your experiences and feelings about mental illness
muchlove
Posts: 1367
Joined: Sat Feb 18, 2012 10:27 pm

Re: cursed

Postby muchlove » Fri Jun 01, 2012 1:05 pm

I would agree with the others..... Sounds like your cpn is acknowledging your having a hard time which is impacting on the way you feel. She is not saying you are cursed. For me, it helps when people can acknowledge that I'm having a hard time. Many professionals are so focused on the 'getting better' that they seem to gloss over the fact that life is bloody hard. I find just a little recognition really helpful. The best thing anyone ever said to me was 'it must be really hard for you' this wasnt dwelling on the fact I'm struggling, but accepting that's how I am feeling at the moment and giving it recognition. This may not be the case for you but what im trying to say is, what's going on for you must be really tough, but it doesnt mean your cursed
X
"You may be laying in the gutter but at least you'll be looking up at the stars."

deadchick07
Posts: 5029
Joined: Sun Dec 09, 2007 1:06 am

Re: cursed

Postby deadchick07 » Fri Jun 01, 2012 10:42 pm

there was a man on telly tonight. he lost his sight, and some close friends in an explosion in afgahnistan. he lost his dream job in the army. he never considered being anything else.

some people would consider him cursed.

three weeks ago he bacame a father, and tonight he ran with the olympic torch, taking it on the ferry across the mersey.

How does he cope? he was asked. "i'm just a scouser" he replied.

He basically has the resilliance to take shit as it happens. Other people, like you, are fragile and when shit happens, find it really hard to cope. You are not cursed.

much of your pain comes from the fear of the worst happening rather than the actual event. You need help to replace the fear of the worst happening with the understanding of what the most likely thing is to happen. You can practice this in small steps, for example, worrying about the post the postman brings, will it be a letter removing your benefits, a huge water rates bill 15 times its usual amount, a letter from someone you didnt want. These are unlikely, benefits are rarely stopped without a reason, water rates are similar with maybe a small increase each year, the usual post might be a bank statement, appointment letters or fliers offering virgin tv at a special rate.


you are not cursed at all, just needing help to develop resilience.
I'm not mad, I'm furious

When injustice becomes law, rebellion becomes duty

umbrella4therain
Posts: 2829
Joined: Tue Apr 22, 2008 1:48 pm

Re: cursed

Postby umbrella4therain » Sat Jun 02, 2012 1:30 am

Hugs RJ. xxxx

wishbone
Posts: 1131
Joined: Thu Jun 02, 2011 8:09 pm

Re: cursed

Postby wishbone » Sat Jun 02, 2012 8:52 am

I am really please to hear they are plannign to give you therapy. This is great. This means they think you are stable enough to have therapy. Perhaps, without realising it, you are calming down and showing signs of being able to manage your daily emotions better, because, they would not consider therapy, if they thought you were not ready.

deadchick07
Posts: 5029
Joined: Sun Dec 09, 2007 1:06 am

Re: cursed

Postby deadchick07 » Sat Jun 02, 2012 12:01 pm

in wasnt implying you dont have things as bad as others, you have had a horrendous childhood and you are only free of them very recently. Its no wonder you respond like you do to events, but because of all the bad things you go into disaster mode before you know what is really happening, catastrophising outcomes before they occur. You also jump to conclusions as you assumed I was saying you havent got things as bad as others, what I meant was some people cope better than others, those who dont cope may assume they are cursed.

Its good they are considering therapy, although it may take a long time for you to deal with issues because of the length of time you suffered. Im sure you will do well at it as you have been keen to move on.

xx
I'm not mad, I'm furious

When injustice becomes law, rebellion becomes duty

deadchick07
Posts: 5029
Joined: Sun Dec 09, 2007 1:06 am

Re: cursed

Postby deadchick07 » Sat Jun 02, 2012 12:18 pm

Kafka, larry, and mo I called them. Noisiest eaters in the world. Kafka is really cute, long hair black with a squashed up face, larry is black and white short hair and mo is all black shorthair.

I have to be really careful driving to work as they have taken to sleeping in the engine. I have to bang the bonnet before driving off. Kafka ans larry must be boys because they piss on the car every night too. Cats are so affectionate! bastards.

little do they know, they are going to be caught soon and off with their privates.
I'm not mad, I'm furious

When injustice becomes law, rebellion becomes duty

muchlove
Posts: 1367
Joined: Sat Feb 18, 2012 10:27 pm

Re: cursed

Postby muchlove » Sat Jun 02, 2012 2:37 pm

I think its not always helpful to compare you're own suffering to that of others. We often end up beating ourselves up about how and why we feel the way we do.
My advice would be to try to stop doing this. It doesnt help. Easier said than done, I know because I do this a lot too.
Everybody is individual, and whether you have experienced traumatic events or not, the way you feel right now is very real to you. I have no past trauma, and iden feel guilty that I feel so rotten because 'what do I have to feel bad about?' But I do feel bad, and this view only makes me feel worse.
So I guess what I'm saying is try not to compare yourself and your suffering to that of others. Just take it for what it is and know that with some work it can change.
You're having a really hard time at the moment with your mum and things so don't feel bad for feeling bad!
"You may be laying in the gutter but at least you'll be looking up at the stars."


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