Its ok, I dont get alot of help with anything really which is why I keep getting stuck in place all the time. Care is not always my primary concern at the time I tend to take sex badly and use funny things (to me) to cope with the issues surrounding it.
To let out more personal backgrounds and as to why maybe my related issues are off a margin.
Around my life there has been sexual activity unintended as I didnt know what sex was for a long time, only a year before my 1st consented sex. Previously the 1st encounter was a girl a friend 6 years older than me but also friend to my older sister how i knew her. She got bored playing the same game with me on the field near the house we both lived close together, so played hide and seek a variation of anyway. There was a place where the rubbish chutes lead to in the block,for weeks a new place to hide out and talk then one day went far and started to feel me and kiss me in personal places i did not understand until later later on.
2nd encounter again a friend's mother, after school visit as friends do after a while same thing happen as before with one difference I got scared as remembering the last time something like that started and wet myself (I was young, very young) but worked in her favor get out of those wet clothes- then playing with me then making me lay next to her as she got naked and then sat on my face for pleasure, i was weak back then only a tiny boy unlike now so could not lift her off or shout as my face was covered.
3rd encounter, had a friend a male one who had a friend with a friend who we were supposed to meet he purposefully never turned up so just me alone with 2 girls (later found one of them was my cousin) tried to stay calm being alone with 2 strange girls who i had never met who were more than a little interested in "exploring" and hormonal feelings. They pre picked a day where the house would be free from adults and brought some special stuff (rohypnol its now knows as) from the same guy who was meant to be with me, he was a dealer of many things including various drugs but I thought was a good guy at the time one person close as i had just moved schools. They used the drug and took pictures with me that I did not remember then flashed them around the population.
4th encounter, sleeping around a male friends place as my own home became too violent and woke up with both him and his sister "playing" with me (and why i never wear loose pajama's since then)
And all before I was 14 years old, first actual consented was at 16 yrs old though went badly still consented. Not including all the various little things, I dont know why i seem to be like a magnet to this kind of behavior in people, when I realized what sex was and refused my 1st real partner because of my sex related issues she cheated twice, the next partner cheated and so did the next 34 after her and actually I have had 1 girl that never cheated but thats only because we lasted a day if that.
The world is consumed by sex, the need, the drive the disgusting truth its sick. As to why people need it as a drive is beyond my feelings, sex is so much a part of society that someone i know keeps sending a picture of his penis to people over fb at the moment. I have to ask if scientists are really sure what axis the earth spins on.
Time takes away the last few moments..