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today *pos trig*

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craziememe
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Joined: Wed Oct 17, 2007 9:00 pm
Location: northwest england
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today *pos trig*

Postby craziememe » Wed Jul 02, 2008 4:37 pm

had a tough session with my therapist. today i told her how afraid i am. told her how i sleep with a kitchen knife under my pillow because i'm so scard. i checked the room today for any hidden camera's too. i'm really frightened. i dont no what to do.i wish they'd have killed me wen they had the chance to. i wish so much that i was dead. so i would'nt feel the pain.so i would'nt live in fear.
Craziememe

craziememe
Posts: 5638
Joined: Wed Oct 17, 2007 9:00 pm
Location: northwest england
Contact:

Re: today *pos trig*

Postby craziememe » Wed Jul 02, 2008 6:35 pm

i am scared of everything, i am so scared.i am scared of them coming to get me in the night i am scared of them finding me.i am scared they will hurt me. i was not a good girl i did'nt keep my promises. i am frightened of everything and everybody out there. i am scared of myself. i wish i had a gun i would shoot myself. ive been looking on the internet. they're going to get me one day. i am scared to send my little boy to school. i'm so scaared i'm sorry i dont nowhat esle to say i'm really scared.
Craziememe

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judithj
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Joined: Fri Feb 29, 2008 5:25 pm
Location: Have you ever thought what it's like, to be wanderers in the fourth dimension?

Re: today *pos trig*

Postby judithj » Wed Jul 02, 2008 8:37 pm

meme, just wanted to send you some big hugs, take care of yourself, Judith xxx

craziememe
Posts: 5638
Joined: Wed Oct 17, 2007 9:00 pm
Location: northwest england
Contact:

Re: today *pos trig*

Postby craziememe » Wed Jul 02, 2008 11:17 pm

i read to him every night, he is so clever he isonly 5 but sometimes he reads to me he is very clever for his age. i am still scared. i dont sleep very long but wen i do i sleep with my handholding the knife under my pillow.i am scared the bad people in the world will get me. i am scaredof everything,of the people i see i'm scared of cameras i think maybemy therapist has got themin her room. on monday my support worker took me across the road to the shop and i had to ask for bread and i saw the cameras and it freaks me out. i dont no what to do i am so frightened. all the time i act so tough because that is what i used to do but i am so scared.
Craziememe

Robbie

Re: today *pos trig*

Postby Robbie » Wed Jul 02, 2008 11:33 pm

Why do you think they are coming to get you meme? Why are you so scared? The only times when I've been paranoid (which is what you have) is when I haven't been taking my anti-psychotic med. My psych has been in agreement with me in the past that I've been able to reduce and then stop it (have only ever been on a low dose anyway). When I've been off it for a few months, it all comes back so I have resigned myself to the fact that I need to take it longer term. Just hate the term anti-psychotic because I haven't seen myself as being psychotic but in hindsight I can see that I have been.
Anyway, just to let you know that I am thinking of you (as many of us are) and hope that you are feeling much better soon!
Incidentally, what meds are you on if you don't mind me asking?
Hugs!
Rob X

craziememe
Posts: 5638
Joined: Wed Oct 17, 2007 9:00 pm
Location: northwest england
Contact:

Re: today *pos trig*

Postby craziememe » Wed Jul 02, 2008 11:38 pm

im not being paronoid robbie i am so so scared really i am. i am on venleflaxine 225 and promazine 400 and promethazine 20 cant spell it at night to try and help me sleep.i am really scared
Craziememe

Robbie

Re: today *pos trig*

Postby Robbie » Wed Jul 02, 2008 11:49 pm

You won't recognise paranoia meme, it's insideous. I didn't get on with venlafaxine, not sure what the other two are but will try to look them up. Did you feel as scared last night? if not, what has made you so scared tonight? If so, when was the last time you didn't feel so scared and what has triggered it? You obviously don't have to answer my questions, just trying to get a better handle on the situation, that's all.
Hugs
Rob
x0x


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