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Feel worst after counselling...

Posted: Wed Feb 01, 2012 9:48 pm
by carebear
why is it that when Ive not been to counselling for 2 weeks and finally I go today and I feel worst after it??

I hate and dread it but there again I hate and dread going to work too. I have been feeling quite angry lately and feel i'm taking it out on other people around me. I'm just angry.. I was angry in counselling with talking about stuff because it makes me angry.. It doenst make me feel any better but worst.. Why? I still feel angry now.. I feel quite numb as well again. I can;t put my finger on it but I just don't feel right... I just feel like I have a big lump inside me and I need to burst it.. thinking about the racing thoughts and thinking of actually listening to them.. but i try and avoid it the best i can but it seems to be taking over today, all because I went to counselling.. I don;t know what I should do, stop going or tell the counsellor next time I see her that talking about things is making me feel worst.. but then if counselling doesn't work, what will?

Re: Feel worst after counselling...

Posted: Wed Feb 01, 2012 11:05 pm
by isabelledefrance
did counselling a few years ago, I hated it, didn't bond with my counsellor and it did nothing for me. a few years on and I had therapy (CBT which I know is not for everyone) with a great therapist whom I like and trust, and 19 wks later (1 session left) I feel better. not fully mended by any means, still have a long road ahead BUT.. getting there. So from a personal experience it is counselling 0 and therapy 1. BUT it does depend on the individual, so you need to find what is right for you. hope you get there soon, take care xx

Re: Feel worst after counselling...

Posted: Wed Feb 01, 2012 11:21 pm
by carebear
I've had CBT before and found it helpful but felt there was not enough sessions however this was through work. I'm waiting for CBT again but this time through NHS. On the list but probably a very long one. I don't see how counselling is helping however the counsellor is really nice but I just can't seem to talk about stuff because it makes me angry so she said next time she will give me a booklet on anger management. I don't know how that will help though. Need CBT me think..

Re: Feel worst after counselling...

Posted: Thu Feb 02, 2012 1:50 pm
by Aisha85

I can relate to feeling worse after counselling. I think it can because it reminds you that you have some form of issue/an illness that means you have to endure this unpleasant event (the counselling). Also it obviously involves talking about things that are difficult and maybe being given advice/suggestions that are hard to swallow.

I don't really understand the whole anger management booklet because I have told my counsellor things have made me angry at times and she says it is a good emotion to feel because depression can actually come from being angry at certain things. Also she says it is better to feel anger than to feel numb.

As for long nhs waiting lists- I know how frustrating it is. It might be worth contacting a private one because they do offer consessions if that is something you'd require.

Wishing u luck and all the best with your treatment and recovery x

Re: Feel worst after counselling...

Posted: Thu Feb 02, 2012 4:54 pm
by Harmony
Counselling brings feelings to the surface that have been stored away in the box labelled "cant deal with this now"
Over time more and more stuff gets put in there until its fit to burst or it does burst.
Going to counselling your opening up that box that you have buried deep inside and each week you work your way through it, its like reading pages from a diary of all hurtful things that have happened. It does hurt and its hard work and its natural to feel anger, its what you do with that anger is the problem.
I was told cbt waiting list could take up to 6 months, i dont know whether it depends on the area tho.

Re: Feel worst after counselling...

Posted: Thu Feb 02, 2012 5:11 pm
by craziememe
hi carebear i usually feel worse after therapy too, i think its cos we're talking about difficult things, sometimes i feel angry with even my therapist and shes done nothing. talk to your counseller next week about why you felt angry i know what you mean about something wanting to burst inside you sometimes i think itll send me crazy. keep talking to us here, we'll do our best to support you. i know after thearpy/counselling you should do nice things to yourself, treat yourself do something you enjoy, be kind to yourself. thinking of you hun xx

Re: Feel worst after counselling...

Posted: Thu Feb 02, 2012 10:26 pm
by carebear
thanks to everyone for your kind comments.

I like what some of you suggested about treating myself after the counselling session. i wish I could but I have to go back to work after it. I went at 1pm yesterday but next week i've booked in for 3.30pm so i'm hoping that i can go straight home afterward as i found it hard yesterday to go straight back into work. With being angry and it was playing on my mind so I was not really concentrating properly with the job. I owe work 6 hours as well so I am trying my best to get into work early and finish late so i can get it back to zero and perhaps start saving my flexi hours but getting up of a morning for work is a struggle still.

I wish I could afford private counselling but I just can;t as i've just managed to sort out my debts however still paying off the loan for it. I do have a lodger which helps but i need a 2nd lodger as i normally have 2 which keeps my bank balance stable. More worries at the moment with finances as my combi boiler is playing up and i'm having to pay for someone to come out and repair it as i don;t have cover on this type of thing no more... Lets say my policy with a bank has let me down and i was originally covered but no longer since they've taken that part out of the insurance policy without me knowing!!! :roll: another thing to sort out which i will do tomorrow since i should have a quieter day in the office after a mad one today.

I haven;t got a clue what i need anymore, for some reason I want to try and forget about things that have happened and move on but i can't because it's still there in the back of my head. I guess I should try and explain to the counsellor next week about how i felt after yesterday. I will try.

Carebear x

Re: Feel worst after counselling...

Posted: Thu Feb 02, 2012 10:46 pm
by Alzice
I stopped counselling because I felt truly awful afterwards, basically because it left me feeling like all I'd done was stress about my problems for an hour without getting anywhere. I sort of felt like I would have got further doing something enjoyable for an hour that didn't involve thinking about depression or anything like that. I also realised that therapy will do no good until you know exactly what it is you want out of it. I didn't really bond with my counsellor, didn't find her suggestions helpful and felt uncomfortable talking to her.

My doctor has suggested CBT and I'm now looking into self help as much as I can, although I appreciate this doesn't work for everyone. Don't feel too bad because it hasn't quite worked out, there are other options and it's not for everyone. It may be that you just had the wrong counsellor and one day if you tried again it would go better.

I hope you're okay

Re: Feel worst after counselling...

Posted: Thu Feb 02, 2012 11:04 pm
by carebear
I'm just tired at the moment and tired of thinking about counselling too but i can;t seem to get it out of my mind. This is my 3rd attempt at counselling but I have to admit that she is a good counsellor only because she makes a head start on things when I can't talk were in the past the other 2 counsellors just sat there saying nothing for the whole hour waiting for me to say something.

I actually talk abit more but feel a whole lot worst afterwards and mentally drained... needing to just go to bed and switch off from the world basically..

Hope you are okay too x