thanks to everyone for your kind comments.
I like what some of you suggested about treating myself after the counselling session. i wish I could but I have to go back to work after it. I went at 1pm yesterday but next week i've booked in for 3.30pm so i'm hoping that i can go straight home afterward as i found it hard yesterday to go straight back into work. With being angry and it was playing on my mind so I was not really concentrating properly with the job. I owe work 6 hours as well so I am trying my best to get into work early and finish late so i can get it back to zero and perhaps start saving my flexi hours but getting up of a morning for work is a struggle still.
I wish I could afford private counselling but I just can;t as i've just managed to sort out my debts however still paying off the loan for it. I do have a lodger which helps but i need a 2nd lodger as i normally have 2 which keeps my bank balance stable. More worries at the moment with finances as my combi boiler is playing up and i'm having to pay for someone to come out and repair it as i don;t have cover on this type of thing no more... Lets say my policy with a bank has let me down and i was originally covered but no longer since they've taken that part out of the insurance policy without me knowing!!!
another thing to sort out which i will do tomorrow since i should have a quieter day in the office after a mad one today.
I haven;t got a clue what i need anymore, for some reason I want to try and forget about things that have happened and move on but i can't because it's still there in the back of my head. I guess I should try and explain to the counsellor next week about how i felt after yesterday. I will try.