Feeling like sh*t.
Over the last two months had started to get quite close to a chap and thought it might of been the beginnings of something special. He's very quiet and I'm quite chatty so it wasn't all smooth sailing. He was very quiet with me immediately prior to my gall bladder coming out and really has been quite withdrawn over last couple of weeks. He said it was due to being busy at work.
We met up over the weekend. In conversation I directly asked him if he was still motivated to spend time with me and he said he wasn't sure
He said he would think about it and let me know.
Because this is the first time I have allowed myself to even like anyone since my marriage broke down 4 odd years ago I feel like I have been a complete fool. I wonder if there really is anything about me that will ever make anyone think I am loveable again.
My confidence and self-esteem have just completely dropped through the floor again. I think I am more fragile than I thought - I'd had it in my head I was doing so well, so positive but now I am starting to wonder if I have been tricking myself.
What a sh*tty, sh*tty way to spend a bank holiday.