fault trig

[Lucretia]

my fault.
i dont wanto be here anymore.i dont know what is real and i never feel ok
something so bad is going to happen i can feel it
i wanted to hang on until my parents divorced.i weanted my mums life to be good but i cant
its different depression now.not just about whats going on around me
something bad is going to happen i can feel it

what if my death could save hundereds

something bad is going to happen i can feel it

i think i might be special in some way.not better but maybe

something so bad is going to happen i can feel it


and i haveto die before i cause it

[Lucretia]

something bad is here and no one can do anything
im scared

[Lucretia]

i think what he means is if i die they will be ok.
im not scared of dying i know exactly how to die im scared of being dead
im scared im scared i dont think im going to wake up in the morning or worse my mum something so bad is going to happen


i wish i was like all of you.i wids i was normal
i think i tried to be good.
am i good or evil i dont know
i wish i was like all of you i wish i was normal
why cant i think like everyone else!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

which part of me is most abnormal?ive tried to be normal on here but im just wong
i dont wanto think anymore.there must must be a way to stop thinking
how can i be between life and death
im trying to stay awake so im so exhausted i wont think

how can i be all of these things at the same time

[Treloarbabe]

It's ok love! Nothing is your fault, nothing at all! You do sound very vulnerable though, so can you please get some help?

I'm always here for you!

X

[isolated]

hugs rj!! how are you feeling today? sorry things are so tough at the minute but nothing is your fault, please dont compare yourself to others, nobody is "normal" everyone is different and that makes everyone unique. xxxx

[pixie.]

Hi RJ ,
Hope you are ok today.
I have found myself ruminating late at night with the 'what if's and buts etc of life.I got myself into a right state just last week with it all and spent a week in a respite center as I could not cope anymore. The worst times of the day for me are , first thing in the morning, and when I go to bed.
Try somehow to distract yourself to relax your mood. Depending how I feel something as simple as going for a walk or for me, having a bath before I get into bed works, as it relaxes you. Don't drink to many brews as i have found it keeps you awake , well it does me anyway. I usually try to find something relaxing to watch on telly before i sleep, some prefer reading as a way to relax. You may have tried alsorts but we are here to support each other.

Pixie xx
.

[Lucretia]

thanks.
i think my computer is breaking.theres no way i can afford a new one.so i wont be able to use this or any other site for support
i really will be entirely alone
x

[Lucretia]

i really truly cant do this anymore my sister has just phoned.her boyfriend has hit her a few times she doesnt see her son now
my sister the divorce of my parents
i wish i was deadn i truklt do no one will ever know how bad o feel right noe