I'm unemployed at the moment. i was on an apprenticeship, which i had to leave in december due to my depression. i went through various meds that left me unable to do my work or coursework so i fell very behind and eventually got to a point where it was impossible to catch up. since then, i've had 2 temporary jobs, but failed to complete both of them for the time i was meant to because of depression and panic attacks.
I'm not eligible for employment and support allowance, or job seekers, because of how much my live-in partner earns, but yet i have to find work because he doesn't earn enough to support both of us.
the problem is, i don't feel ready. I'm not recieving any treatment except for medication from my GP which i struggle to take. I've been looking for work for the past 2 months, but even that is a struggle. the job advertisements are really intimidating. i only apply for jobs through email, because pn the phone and in person are too scary, and everytime i apply for a job i'm secretly hoping i won't hear back from them because i really don't feel ready for it.
the thing is, everybody is treating me like i'm a lazy bum and it's doing my head in. I struggle just to keep my one bedroom flat clean, and yet my friends have full time jobs, homes and children and they manage just fine. i feel really lost and i hate it.