Hello my name is Vaiva I am from Lithuania in the moment I live in England. I always was struggling with my mental health when I was young I tryed kill me self few times. ( I was 17 last time I did it) but after that I realized that I hurting my family and started work on my self. Did was very well till last year i was in happy relationship but now all changed my partner very angry he's smokes weed I started do it to but my anxiety and depression gone so bad I started cry all the time I started want to die again. I know my relationship toxic I know he's playing mind games with me. I put a lot off weight to I hate my self I hate my life only thing I got left is my fog and my job. I work.in care I love my job. I thing I am.so lost i need to understand what is wrong with me and what is my partners mind games and lies are. I know I got slide OCD I know I move my feet even when I sleep I know I am emotional and super crazy but I loved my self before and I had friends who loved me . Now I am alone but I can't find way out off position I am.in .