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Help and the need to be heard/understood

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Joined: Thu Nov 07, 2019 4:29 pm

Help and the need to be heard/understood

Postby lamih86 » Thu Nov 07, 2019 4:35 pm

Hi Everyone. Firstly i am so glad i have found somewhere online where i can hopefully have some help or atleast be heard, so thank you in advanced.

I am a 33 year old male, who is maried with 2 kids and a dog. From the outside people would think its a normal life with work n kids etc etc etc.

On the inside i feel i am battling demons daily and i cant understand why. I struggle to find consistency on a daily basis with happiness and being content. I get anxious and nervous all of a sudden, i find it hard to digest new information and adapt to sudden changes of routine.

Normally my wife supports me but i dont think she understands just how deep this mental health thing is, and ofcourse being a man we are always told to 'be a man' about things, especially when your in laws family all display that typical south asian macho man behaviour amongst the boys.

Recently things have got worse, and on a daily basis i dont feel good or happy or secure, i can be okay one minute then really weird the next. I feel like my own time is not mine and i am fighting a daily battle.

I havent turned to drink or drugs or anything, but randomly do have AWFUL thoughts on suicide and thoughts that are EXTREMELY negative about family members.

Thank you for listening and any reply is so much appreciated

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Joined: Sat Aug 25, 2018 12:25 pm

Re: Help and the need to be heard/understood

Postby piggy » Mon Nov 11, 2019 2:33 pm

You don't say if you have had a diagnosis of anything if not you need to pluck up courage and see your gp which is hard for anyone and as a lot of the media are doing is getting men to talk more about mental health have you a best male friend who you can talk to who would go to gp with you and no that's not being a baby do you have family members friends who could be with you when you talk to your wife that helps people understand if you explain everything your wife wouldn't want you to kill yourself and what about your children you don't say how old they are ok I've tried loads of times to end it and it doesn't work you need to talk to samaritans they are lovely I an tell you from experience I know it will be hard to make that step with being a man but even men can be mentally ill and it's OK it will be a long road but we are all walking the same long road together

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Joined: Mon Apr 24, 2017 4:12 pm

Re: Help and the need to be heard/understood

Postby rsxo » Fri Nov 15, 2019 9:29 pm

Hey :)

Welcome to the forum, glad to have you on board! I think it's important to know that although we are spending the rest of our lives with our spouse, that doesn't necessarily mean that they are the best person to talk about everything with. While there are plenty of spouses supportive of mental health, some are not, and that's okay - as long as you have someone to talk to about your mental health, that's the important thing!

I understand what you mean about the South Asian cultural taboo over mental health issues - it's not as well understood or accepted, and that can be hard to come home to. Just like there are certain spaces that we can or can't talk about certain things, perhaps family is not a place you can speak about this. But there are places you can - that could be here, or with a friend etc. I know it would be ideal to be able to talk about mental health with anyone, anywhere (and talking about it is part of how we do that!), we also have to work with our situation. If you haven't already, I would go and see a GP - they can provide professional support through medication and counselling. You're not alone in thisx

Much love <3
RSxo <3

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