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I am new and struggling

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sadboy
Posts: 4
Joined: Sat Oct 05, 2019 8:46 pm

I am new and struggling

Postby sadboy » Sat Oct 05, 2019 9:11 pm

hi i am new to this, i am 23 from London and struggling with depression, anxiety, stress, anorexia and BPD. I am on anti-depressants and have had multiple CBT, counseling and talking therapies and just don't find anything helping me. I struggle finding the help I need. I have a supporting friend network and somewhat family. But cannot speak to anyone about how severe my condition is. I am scared to go to professionals now as I feel I will be locked away and I have so much going on (hence the stress) that I can't just stop. I am not dangerous to others, but do feel what if one day I could be to myself. I struggled with suicidal thought my whole childhood and teenage years, and now I get them, but I just laugh because I know I am too scared to carry anything like that out. I just wanted to say hi to anyone reading this and not sure what happens on here. Not sure what help I even need.

breatheinandout
Posts: 364
Joined: Mon Jul 17, 2017 10:03 am
Location: UK

Re: I am new and struggling

Postby breatheinandout » Sun Oct 06, 2019 9:21 am

Hi there, lovely to meet you :)
It can be a quiet forum but people are helpful. Sorry to hear how you're feeling but good to let it out on here especially if you don't feel ready to talk to professionals. Do you have a doctor you could talk to? could be time to see about different medication?
Sending hugs
Why did i pick such a long username?! Do call me Biao :D

sahlo-forlina
Posts: 2
Joined: Fri Oct 04, 2019 7:39 pm

Re: I am new and struggling

Postby sahlo-forlina » Sun Oct 06, 2019 8:33 pm

Hey,

I think I understand exactly how you’re feeling. I’ve just changed medication after being on one for 12 months that wasn’t working. By the time I realised I’d hit rock bottom. I’m now on one I used to be on but it’s not working as quick as I’d hoped.
I’ve tried counselling and it just doesn’t work for me either! I’ve also had suicidal thoughts and if it wasn’t for my daughter I would of ended everything. I know what it’s like when you just want the sadness to end!!
At the moment I just feel completely numb, all my emotions have gone and I have to fake it around most people. It’s hard work! I’m worried that I will never feel normal again, I’m married and at the moment it’s really hard being in a relationship, I’m lucky as my husband is very understanding but I know there’s only so much a person can take!
Have you thought about changing your meds?

X

rsxo
Posts: 1388
Joined: Mon Apr 24, 2017 4:12 pm

Re: I am new and struggling

Postby rsxo » Fri Oct 11, 2019 9:22 pm

Welcome!x
RSxo <3

sadboy
Posts: 4
Joined: Sat Oct 05, 2019 8:46 pm

Re: I am new and struggling

Postby sadboy » Sun Oct 13, 2019 12:28 pm

Heya,

Thank you to those who replied.

I have seen multiple professionals but they all don't take me seriously because I have not recently attempted suicide. I recently moved into a different council joined a new GP (4th closest from me because all other rejected me). I can never get an appointment with them, they prefer telephone appointments. With previous GPs, when I have told them I think i need to come in and review my medication they try and give me an appointment within the next couple of days latest. This new GP I have not yet stepped foot in. I understand that the NHS is under funded but it feels like they want me to walk in with a gun to my head and beg to be seen.

I have been on 5 different medications over the past 3 years and if anything I feel more numb than before. I do think I am better on medication as previously my suicide thoughts and self-harm was more apparent. I have been on my current medication for about 9 months, and am not on the full dosage as I can't review my medication without an appointment with my GP.

I have always wanted children but as my mental state gets worse every year I feel I am no longer fit to have them.

I appreciate the support, but have no idea what to do.


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