I've experienced multiple bereavements...they just kept coming, one after another, every few months, from October 1998 to August 2010. There have been 2 since.
I learned to become numb and I no longer believe or welcome affection or love. I easily become angry, which can become rage if I don't curtail it, and only sometimes are there a short flood of tears.
Many people have (and still do) let me down, most of the time. That really doesn't help? My beggarly adult Son is the main culprit and it's a struggle to love him while tolerating his lies and excuses. I'm chronically weary; without motivation or energy. I've given up imagining that any-one cares; what the hell?!
However, I'm damned well not leaving this bloody Earth, until I'm forced to, because I'm a stubborn, cussed old coot of 62, and, if no-one is capable of truly loving me, 'warts and all', I'm happy enough to have the company of YouTube, old TV Dramas, and supermarket cashiers, on my occasional trips to indulge in buying food stuffs.
thank you for putting up with my rant.
I sincerely hope that, in some way, you find it helpful.
If not, then I apologise profusely.