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I just need to say (type) the words

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Joined: Sat May 18, 2019 3:36 pm

I just need to say (type) the words

Postby paintasmile » Sat May 18, 2019 3:53 pm

Hello.Where do I start. OK so Xmas 2017 saw a break up of a 3 year relationship. It was pretty much mutual and amicable or so I thought. I was 4 stone overweight and I channelled my emotions into weight loss and exercise. However, finding out my ex had moved someone into his flat less than a month after our break up shot my self esteem. I threw myself into charity work. I'm a full time carer for my adult son but needed to be with people. When I could I worked with the homeless, joined a walking group and went to the gym. after 3 months the weight was falling off and people were telling me how wonderful I looked. I felt like shit. I bit the bullet and went to my GP who asked how I felt about medication. I would have tried anything at this point so I started a low dose of anti depressants and was referred for CBT. After another couple of months I was feeling brighter, socialising more, started going to festivals and made the most of every free moment from caring that I could. My dad then passed away - it was a long illness and in some ways a relief. I was busy with funeral arrangements and packing as much into my life as I could. I got through last year on adrenaline and helping others, and I ditched my size 18's for size 12's and became a charity shop lover. Fast forward to May 2019. I've put over 2 stone of the 4 stone back on. I haven't been to the gym for weeks. My clothes don't fit and I eat nothing all day then eat utter crap until I feel sick in the evening. I sleep between 10 and 12 hours, often sleeping in the afternoon. My GP has increased my meds. To the outside world I'm the bubbly, loves being single (that's what I tell them) will do anything for anyone person. Always with a smile, always first on the proverbial dancefloor. I don't sit and cry - I think my meds dumb all that down. I'm completely numb and am cancelling every opportunity to socalise so people don't guess and don't see me piling on the weight. Thank you if you've managed to get this far on my drivel. I feel better for just getting it out, annonymously x

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Joined: Fri May 17, 2019 1:18 am

Re: I just need to say (type) the words

Postby dizzy.miss.lizzy » Sat May 18, 2019 8:30 pm

hello and welcome to the forum

I am sorry to hear of your difficult times, I'm new here and have had difficult times too

I hope things get easier for both of us :)

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Joined: Mon May 02, 2016 9:09 pm

Re: I just need to say (type) the words

Postby bluebell123 » Mon May 20, 2019 7:10 pm

Welcome to the forum. Aisling

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Joined: Sat Apr 20, 2019 2:20 pm

Re: I just need to say (type) the words

Postby butterflies32 » Sun May 26, 2019 4:19 pm


Firstly well dine for posting. Secondly im sorry about your losses. Food is rubbish right. You need it to live and yet its the one thing that changes the appearance and can make or break you. Have you gone back to your GP to see if there are any other medications that you can try or if you can get any other support in place. Your food control doesnt sound healthy and is maybe hurting you more if your cancelling on social things so people dont see you. I think the hardest thing is dealing with the loss and dealing with self love. Remember you need to look after yourself before helping others you will be no good to them if you burn out. Your important too.

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