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Feeling isolated

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forestina
Posts: 5
Joined: Mon Apr 29, 2019 11:03 pm

Feeling isolated

Postby forestina » Mon Apr 29, 2019 11:16 pm

A very close friend was involved in a fatal accident. He then tried to take his own life. Fortunately I alerted the emergency services who were brilliant and he was found just in time. He then stayed with me for a month but is now back home. I tried to be so strong and capable and now i am an emotional mess. There are so many hurdles ahead and I see no hope.

bluebell123
Posts: 398
Joined: Mon May 02, 2016 9:09 pm

Re: Feeling isolated

Postby bluebell123 » Tue Apr 30, 2019 2:40 pm

I think you shou go to your gp, you are clearly stressed and could do with support. Also you can phone samaritans free on 116123, they are very kind. Aisling.

forestina
Posts: 5
Joined: Mon Apr 29, 2019 11:03 pm

Re: Feeling isolated

Postby forestina » Tue Apr 30, 2019 10:34 pm

Thank you. I am just reluctant to go on meds and feel so incredibly guilty that what I am going through is nothing to the trauma of the trial they have to face. I also feel so selfish that I alerted the authorities who found them just in time. Prison would destroy them and I stopped them doing what they really wanted.
They have insisted they want no contact either visits or letter during any custodial sentence which I will find so very hard, although I know I have to respect their wishes I really don't think I can do this.

I keep telling myself that giving up work to enable to keep them safe was necessary and the right thing to do. It is just so hard having to start again with finding work etc. I feel on the edge of a hopeless abyss.

bluebell123
Posts: 398
Joined: Mon May 02, 2016 9:09 pm

Re: Feeling isolated

Postby bluebell123 » Wed May 01, 2019 12:34 pm

I think if your doc suggests or offers medication give it a go, there is no virtue in suffering, if you don't like the effect it has on you, you can always stop taking the meds. If you had a broken leg you wouldn't refuse a plaster cast. See if you can change your mindset about medication, it could help you. I understand both your points of view re contact and, you need to come to your own decision on this. Sorry if i can't be of more help. Aisling.

rsxo
Posts: 1329
Joined: Mon Apr 24, 2017 4:12 pm

Re: Feeling isolated

Postby rsxo » Sat May 04, 2019 10:46 am

Hey :)

Sorry to hear what you've both been through! I think you should definitely talk to someone about this (GP, Samaritans etc) - holding it in will make things worsex

Much love <3
RSxo <3

forestina
Posts: 5
Joined: Mon Apr 29, 2019 11:03 pm

Re: Feeling isolated

Postby forestina » Sun May 05, 2019 11:44 pm

Thank you. We still have many hurdles to overcome. The fact that he didn't see me alerting mental health services as a betrayal has given me some hooe that I do have his best interests at heart.

I fear he will never be the same person but I just want him to know that I would never abandon him without adding to his guilt about ruining my life. I tell him he hasn't and it is my choice to support him and he cannot deny me that choice.

I just hope this is the right approach as I have so much to learn.

rolandcape
Posts: 1
Joined: Wed Apr 24, 2019 2:00 am

Re: Feeling isolated

Postby rolandcape » Mon May 06, 2019 6:46 am

Loneliness can be a real sucker. I won't feed you bullshit by saying it will all be better with time. It very well might not, but it isn't a reason to give up. If it doesn't get better, you learn to cope with it and this results in you being stronger. You're so very strong. I will also like to remind you that although I don’t know what tomorrow will bring, we will be by your side to find out. You are important. Check out my useful guide on this website or this site. Eating heathy also can be good for your mental.
Last edited by rolandcape on Sun Jul 07, 2019 8:32 am, edited 1 time in total.

forestina
Posts: 5
Joined: Mon Apr 29, 2019 11:03 pm

Re: Feeling isolated

Postby forestina » Mon May 06, 2019 1:12 pm

Thank you. I am truly lucky to have such support and it is greatly appreciated.

I am able to be strong when we are together but crumble when we are apart but sense he needs time alone to think about what has happened.

I have no intention of ever abandoning him and he will always have a home.

I have written a letter explaining all this and I only want what is best and will be at least consider leaving my details to someone in authority in case I need to be contacted, but that I must respect his decision and not be selfish. I shall give him this letter when we both know what is happening.

I am aware that it isn't much but I feel at least it is something.

That you again for this wonderful forum. I hope one day when I am feeling stronger to use this painful, but valuable experience to support others.

bluebell123
Posts: 398
Joined: Mon May 02, 2016 9:09 pm

Re: Feeling isolated

Postby bluebell123 » Mon May 06, 2019 6:44 pm

Thank you for your feedback, i think the letter is a great idea. When we are low we push people away, but keeping the door open for him is very kind and understanding. Aisling.


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