Hi... feeling awful

[blake]

Hello, and thank you for reading this..

As of a week ago been diagnosed with severe depression after years of telling myself I’m normal, just grumpy or moody. Push came to shove because I’ve been getting very snappy with my wife over the last month or so and making her very sad. We both work full time and have a 4 year old son. I have been on and off moody and snappy for a long time. This Monday after a stupid comment where I accused her of basically cheating on me for no reason, we argued and I had to leave them behind to seek help. I made an emergency appointment and started taking the medication right away that evening.

I am currently residing in my childhood bedroom at my mothers house, along with my dog. It’s horrible but nothing like what my wife is having to go through. She is trying to find herself again and whilst she admits she is still in love with me and that I even make her happy, she can’t get her head around what is happening.

We are both spending time with our son and for lack of a better term, sharing custody.

I understand that she needs time, I am struggling however being back at home whilst being signed off work and having most of the time alone, my head wonders, I worry things will not get sorted. I worry I am just broken and the tablets won’t work.

I hope some of this makes sense, and I’d anyone can provide any similar situations and what happened I would be grateful.

[blake]

Thank you for your support

[maisi]

Hi Blake,

this is just a quick reply for now, while I've got a minute. I've read what you're going through, it sounds really tough and it's bound to make your depression worse, but I also think things are really hopeful in the long run- you got help, the medication may well give you a big improvement when it kicks in, your wife still loves you even though you have stuff to sort out, and you have a lovely son. Keep an open mind about what will happen in the next few weeks, and try and keep things constructive with your wife. Try not to sit and stew, please find things to distract your mind and body- walking, reading, exercise...?

What meds are you taking and how long have you been on them?

Maisi

[blake]

Hello Masi. I have been walking the dogs legs off along with my boys. Also started to train (football) again as I’m xurrently signed off work. I’m on sertraline and I’m just about 2 weeks into taking them. Never really had any tablets before nothing like this anyway.

Thank you for your words

[maisi]

Hi,

That sounds like a really good approach- the boy's and the dog's legs will be nice and strong, that's a bonus. How do you football train (just curious, feel free not to answer)- when I go swimming I walk past 5 a side pitches, they're usually really busy. Swimming is obviously solitary, I want to do some more sociable exercise.

I don't know much about meds sorry, but I hope it starts to feel helpful. I don't think I've got a chemical imbalance, think I've got a personality imbalance or just difficult circumstances and history. On the plus side, tonight I'm exhausted with back ache and raw hands cos I'm redecorating my daughters room, she really pleased, so I am.

If you're doing the right thing by your son, and you want to reconcile with your wife, I think there's good hope there.

[blake]

Swimming is good, I suppose it is a more solo venture but physically it’s great for the body? Perhaps something more social would benefit if there is something you can find and enjoy? The training is short drills of running/stretching and then practicing certain aspects of the game. I haven’t been able to play for a long time so it’s nice, even if I’m now 30 and it makes me ache a little. Did your daughter pick the rooms new style? I bet she can’t wait to have it finished!

I do hope things work out for me and the Mrs but I sadly understand now why they may not, however I also know we will forever be friends which is reassuring to an extent.