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melindaj
Posts: 42
Joined: Tue Oct 30, 2018 12:33 pm

New member

Postby melindaj » Tue Oct 30, 2018 1:10 pm

I have found Sane site having been off work with stress, my doctor would not prescribe Prozac despite this working in the past for me and recommended CBT instead without telling me there was an I8 week waiting list. I returned to work having finally being given lowest dosage on a phased basis but work situation had deteriorated further into chaos and after 3 weeks I broke down and I have dropped into depression.

I have been helped by the Home Treatment team at my local hospital and now have my first therapy appointment following a preliminary assessment tomorrow.

Does anyone understand why I feel like a domestic cat turning feral, trapped in a cage and fighting for my life without the correct skills. Wild, vicious and uncontrollable.


I am reading all I can to try to understand but have found it such an terrifying uphill struggle despite Mindlessness, Ruby Wax and self help books and don't feel I am progressing fast enough.

It is not easy trying to explain how I feel to people who have no experience of these dark thoughts of failure, hopelessness and despair hence me joining in the hope that someone has felt the same and come out the other side

upwards-is-the-aim
Posts: 554
Joined: Tue Oct 09, 2018 9:16 pm

Re: New member

Postby upwards-is-the-aim » Tue Oct 30, 2018 8:48 pm

Strange of your doctor - especially if it has worked in the past for you

You are not some lab rat for him/her to work on with their own theories

But you are now where you are and that seems to not be a bad place in terms of HM care that is available

I am impressed if you have the energy to read much - there is so much out there

I think you will find a lot of people on here have similar dark thoughts but have got to them down a different path
Trying to help and be supportive to others on this forum is one of my attempts to reduce my own depression. Getting ourselves out of our own head circles is usually a good thing to do. Maybe try it yourself

melindaj
Posts: 42
Joined: Tue Oct 30, 2018 12:33 pm

Re: New member

Postby melindaj » Wed Oct 31, 2018 11:57 am

Thank you very much for your kindness in responding. Looking back at my message it is not worded well, I sound like a petulant child for which I am sorry.

I don't think the doctor had the time or understanding of how low I was, I am rather practised at putting a brave face on. I told him that my brother had committed suicide when I was in my mid twenties but he didn't grasp that I have had depressive periods on and off many times over the years.

What has caught me unawares is that the severity seems to have increased but perhaps that is what happens if one only uses medication rather than tackling any deeper learned responses that have developed over time. I was even carted away from work once in an ambulance with chest pains terrified that I was having a heart attack to be told it was a panic attack which I managed to cover up at work saying I had a chest infection.

To be able to communicate with fellow sufferers is immensely inspiring and makes me feel less alone.

When I say I am reading it is to try to make sense of what to do, I read but it doesn't stay in my brain long and is immensely hard work to concentrate but when I am well I am a bookworm.

Thank you very much once again and I wish you good health in return.

lisajj
Posts: 1
Joined: Wed Oct 31, 2018 4:44 pm

Re: New member

Postby lisajj » Wed Oct 31, 2018 4:51 pm

I am new to the forum. I am suffering from mental health all due to cosmetic reasons which is all down to myself. I had fillers put into my jaw which the clinic said would tighten and lift but it has done the opposite it's widened my jaw and being female is not a good look. I have not left my home properly for over 4 months only to go to work, I have seen the doctor for advice and tablets were offered but made the situation worse, has anyone been through this. I know there is worse things in life but its effected me daily. I have even tried to take my own life.

upwards-is-the-aim
Posts: 554
Joined: Tue Oct 09, 2018 9:16 pm

Re: New member

Postby upwards-is-the-aim » Wed Oct 31, 2018 11:14 pm

(Start this again on a new thread and with a meaningful title will give you better response that hi-jacking this one)
Trying to help and be supportive to others on this forum is one of my attempts to reduce my own depression. Getting ourselves out of our own head circles is usually a good thing to do. Maybe try it yourself

melindaj
Posts: 42
Joined: Tue Oct 30, 2018 12:33 pm

First Therapy appointment at local Hospital

Postby melindaj » Thu Nov 01, 2018 2:47 pm

I hope whoever reads this finds it helps.

I attended my local hospital for my first Therapy Session yesterday feeling very nervous.
I had been asked to do a wheel of Life to take with me which I was very sceptical about but actually worked really well as my Therapist asked me which of my low scores I wanted to concentrate on.

I picked my low score for my Mental Health as that is the Bedrock and we progressed to discuss Mindfulness and strategies to stop me dwelling on negative thoughts.

What caught me totally was to be told that my thoughts do not define me. I find this a shock as I had previously thought it was only my thoughts that truly defined me.

I am concentrating really hard today to notice when I start thinking negatively and consciously moving my mind to think about the present moment only as my Therapist has pointed out I cannot change the past apart from briefly reflecting on it , there is no point worrying about the future as I cannot control that and therefore living in the moment will help distract my mind from endlessly ruminating(hopefully breaking the pattern).

I actually felt a sense of relief at the end of the session as if someone had switched a light on which feels very strange.

I would recommend anyone who is able to to take meds, embrace Therapy if available and feel grateful for the small kindnesses of others which we do not feel we deserve when depressed.


Hopefully I am making little steps on the slow road to recovery and learning above all to know my real self, my strengths and weaknesses and how to live with them.


Wishing you all well with your own personal struggle.

melindaj
Posts: 42
Joined: Tue Oct 30, 2018 12:33 pm

GP surgery distressing lack of support

Postby melindaj » Mon Nov 05, 2018 12:54 pm

Is it just me that has found my GP's surgery totally frustrating and not supportive in the least.

When I asked for a months supply of fluoroxitine on my last visit I was told it would need to be reviewed on my next visit but then guess what the doctor that I have seen each time isn't available until 12th Nov and I had to battle to get that appointment being told constantly that I had to ring daily to see if a doctor's appointment was available.


In the meantime I have to request repeat prescriptions every 2 weeks which is another thing that makes me anxious.

My sick note ran out last Fri and I requested another one but upon phoning today to check if I could collect it I am told it is only for two weeks now and it will run on on 16th Nov to be reviewed on my next appointment on 12th but they will then make me call to request another one on 16th as they will not issue another one early when I attend on 12th.

I have found that the whole experience with Doctor's surgery is humiliating , stressful and deeply unpleasant and makes me feel totally isolated which is contrary to my efforts to get better with positive thinking.


Where do we go when there is no compassion or understanding of trigger points and is it any wonder that we have bad days when we feel hopeless.

upwards-is-the-aim
Posts: 554
Joined: Tue Oct 09, 2018 9:16 pm

Re: New member

Postby upwards-is-the-aim » Mon Nov 05, 2018 6:55 pm

Well you come here - where you get support in a different way

They are just a busy GP practise dealing with any and everything and you are just a one patient - some others will be dying - others with a red blotch on their back etc

Perhaps try to get thme to see/understand you in a different way by writing them a letter and sending it to them

Make it as constructive as possible and with ideas for solutions etc
Trying to help and be supportive to others on this forum is one of my attempts to reduce my own depression. Getting ourselves out of our own head circles is usually a good thing to do. Maybe try it yourself

melindaj
Posts: 42
Joined: Tue Oct 30, 2018 12:33 pm

Re: New member

Postby melindaj » Mon Nov 12, 2018 12:27 pm

I have a doctors appointment this evening which I am dreading but will jot down in advance what I need to explain/ resolve.

Spent some time with my daughters 35 and 31 over the weekend which really boosted me up I love them very much.

upwards-is-the-aim
Posts: 554
Joined: Tue Oct 09, 2018 9:16 pm

Re: New member

Postby upwards-is-the-aim » Mon Nov 12, 2018 7:54 pm

Well that is good in itself

But also it means that you are noting what boosts your mood and so hopefully are able to identify what takes it down also

And then come up with plans however small
Trying to help and be supportive to others on this forum is one of my attempts to reduce my own depression. Getting ourselves out of our own head circles is usually a good thing to do. Maybe try it yourself


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