I really don't know what I'm doing. I'm alone and I'm very afraid. I feel unbalanced. Dizzy actually, as if physically on the edge of a huge drop and it would be a relief to go over. I can't find help because I had help and was heavily medicated and I have stopped taking pills. I couldn't bear to go back there as I feel as though stopping is the only positive thing I have achieved. My psychiatrist and I had a very strange relationship and I think there was something very wrong with it, so I can't go back to him. It's taken me since February when I last saw him to unpick what happened and I am still doing it, daily. Is any of this reasonable?