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tofler
Posts: 291
Joined: Thu Sep 08, 2016 11:33 pm
Location: England (North East)

Re: Back again!

Postby tofler » Sat Sep 01, 2018 7:22 pm

Hi sammy, thanks for getting in touch, it's good to hear from you again and thanks also for your kind words, they're very much appreciated! Great to hear that you're back at uni and things are looking more positive. One of the things that I've learned about battling with depression over recent years is to expect some down days (and maybe even some dark days), but to try not to panic when they occur and to try not to beat myself up when they arrive. I just try to "ride them out" a bit like an episode of bad weather and try not to expect too much of myself whilst I'm doing that.

Anyway, I hope that your down days will be few and far between and don't forget where we are any time you might need us, or just want people to chat with. Try not to work too hard with all that studying that's waiting for you!

maisi
Posts: 526
Joined: Fri Jul 20, 2018 9:29 pm

Re: Back again!

Postby maisi » Wed Sep 05, 2018 10:58 pm

Hi tofler how you doing?

I feel like you work hard for the forum and extend care and support as much as you can. I hope you're ok, how's the week progressing? Are you still going to the peer support group?

Finally got my daughter's timetable so we both know what the routine looks like, which is helpful for both of us.

I'm v up and down it's a lot of contrast between ok and not, and impossible to predict, so hard to make plans. I miss my allotment and doing voluntary work, but love therapy and looking at sorting myself out.

Hope you're keeping on keeping on, or better than that, Maisi

deb1960
Posts: 1832
Joined: Wed Jan 13, 2016 8:14 pm

Re: Back again!

Postby deb1960 » Thu Sep 06, 2018 6:08 pm

Hi tofler

I've only just read your thread.

Mental illness is so tough but you're fighting it hard. I'm glad the forum helps you. I think peer support is a massive help. It's so easy to think you're on your own with this. Knowing others are coping helps me to cope.

Take care
Deb x

tofler
Posts: 291
Joined: Thu Sep 08, 2016 11:33 pm
Location: England (North East)

Re: Back again!

Postby tofler » Fri Sep 07, 2018 6:10 am

Hi maisi, it's good to hear from you again. This week has been ok so far, although I'm feeling pretty low this morning. Yes, still going to the peer support group and I was there earlier this week. I even managed to go swimming once this week as well! Good to hear that your daughter has her timetable now, I guess that means she's been back to school / college this week? My daughter went back this week as well.

Have you had another therapy appointment this week? If so, I hope you found it helpful, it sounds like a very positive thing in your life at the moment. I used to have an allotment about 20 years ago and I loved being down there. Wish I had the time and energy to get another one, but definitely not possible for me at the moment.

Sorry to hear that things are a bit up and down for you at the moment and difficult to predict. Please try to bear in mind that the road to recovery isn't a straight road and it isn't a smooth journey, it's full of ups and downs and even some setbacks. Anyway, hang in there and I hope that you're soon having more good days than bad ones.

tofler
Posts: 291
Joined: Thu Sep 08, 2016 11:33 pm
Location: England (North East)

Re: Back again!

Postby tofler » Fri Sep 07, 2018 6:20 am

Hi Deb, thanks for getting in touch, it's good to hear from you. I think peer support is very important in relation to mental health and is something that has been overlooked for a long time by services and professionals. Life can be very lonely at times and life with mental illness just adds a whole extra level to that sense of loneliness and isolation sometimes. Connecting with other people is good though! It sounds like you're going through a tough time at the moment? I hope that things will somehow start to improve for you and very soon.

deb1960
Posts: 1832
Joined: Wed Jan 13, 2016 8:14 pm

Re: Back again!

Postby deb1960 » Fri Sep 07, 2018 8:10 am

Hi tofler

I replied in my rant room message. Peer support is so important for me. I have friends who understand but not as well as people who experience it (though they do have mental illness too. But their's is v different)

Loneliness must be terrible. I have a good husband and friends. Someone said to me last week, what.have you got to be depressed about. The answer is nothing.

I can't tell you how much it helps to receive your posts and you really understand. You have battled so long. I am in truth a wimp. If it was physical pain i would be as bad. After 17 years of on and off mental illness I still can't accept it.

Thank you
Deb x

tofler
Posts: 291
Joined: Thu Sep 08, 2016 11:33 pm
Location: England (North East)

Re: Back again!

Postby tofler » Sat Sep 08, 2018 2:35 am

Hi Deb, this issue of acceptance came up in another post on here recently, I think it might have been maisi who mentioned it. I think it's an important topic in relation to mental health.

Ah that whole "What have you got to be depressed about?" question! Personally I think this is a really, really unhelpful thing to say to anyone who's struggling with depression! If we were at sea in a boat and suddenly came across someone who was drowning, would we ever just pull up alongside them and say "Hi there, why are you so busy drowning here, can we have a conversation about what you're doing and how you got be in this mess?" No way would we do that!

You've been struggling with mental illness for 17 years (on and off) Deb so that means you're definitely not a whimp! It means that you're a fighter and a survivor, even though it probably doesn't feel that way to you. Depression is a liar and it messes with our thoughts so that we tell ourselves all sorts of lies and really unhelpful stuff!

Hang in there Deb!

teamn
Posts: 460
Joined: Sun Nov 05, 2017 6:10 pm

Re: Back again!

Postby teamn » Sat Sep 08, 2018 3:19 am

Hi Tofler

Glad you managed to get to swimming this week, something to do to break the monotony of mental health in the bad times, like you feel when the loneliness arises.

I hope the weekend is good for you and you find a way to get out of bed, or even if you can’t be. Interact on here.

deb1960
Posts: 1832
Joined: Wed Jan 13, 2016 8:14 pm

Re: Back again!

Postby deb1960 » Sat Sep 08, 2018 7:10 pm

Hi tofler

I admire you being able to work. It must exhaust you. I work in 2 different charity shops. Because it's voluntary I can take a day off if I need to.

Deb x

tofler
Posts: 291
Joined: Thu Sep 08, 2016 11:33 pm
Location: England (North East)

Re: Back again!

Postby tofler » Sun Sep 09, 2018 7:21 am

Hi teamn, I'm doing ok so far this weekend, thanks. I've been keeping busy and had a nice time with my daughter yesterday. Today I'm meeting up with the one friend that I've got left. Only see him about 3 times a year so it'll be good to catch-up.

Hi Deb, I work full time and it's one of the things which affects my mh because it makes me very tired (and stressed) at times. Keeping busy with 2 charity shops but being able to take time off when needed sounds like a good arrangement.


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