Struggling to be good mum to teenage daughter

[alz78]

Had such a rubbish day . Doc changed medication 2 weeks ago, I know too early to see changes but I have been on a high since changing, cross tapering meds. Today I woke at 8am & lay for maybe 20 mins before deciding to get out bed & take day on. Before change I was lying in till back of 11, this is no good for me as when I do get out bed I feel half the day is away & then can’t be bothered doing anything. Anyway this morn looked at hoidays on my mobile....nothing suitable within my price range, left 13 yr old daughter sleeping till 11am & then when she got up didn’t want to do anything with me also she needed a shower & I had used the last of the conditioner. I planned to go out get some, put it off by doing some dusting & sweeping floors not even finishing room I was working on. I decided to go out around 4pm them found emergency sample conditioners that saved me from doing this...result!!! I go to make dinner, chicken curry, chicken smells off so put in bin & improvise with battered chicken fillets in freezer....I then burn the curry sauce. I feel such a boring mum who can’t even make a half decent dinner. Is it just me struggling to keep teenage daughter happy? Was so much easier when I could take her to softplay or swing park. Its always been me & my daughter since she was a baby but now I feel Im struggling more :(

[amaya]

How are you doing now?

[Cyprus]

Hi sorry you are having a rough time have you throught maybe about a pamper day at house with your daughter do each other’s nails etc face masks etc and a girlie movie x it’s hard when every thing cost so much money x it’s a difficult age to entertain x I hope things get better for you hugs cyprus

[alz78]

Thanks for your replies.
My mood has been low again, back to docs next week.
The pamper night sounds good with good movie, think my mood is the problem not being enthusiastic or being able to think of things to do. We did go to a trampoline fitness class together during the week & both enjoyed it, so this is going to be a regular activity x

[Babs]

Hi,

Just thought I'd say hello and I hear you. I have a 15 yo and a 18 yo. I feel like I am ruining their lives. I can't think of what to say to them, I cry a lot and can't help them with school stuff and queries about jobs and careers and life like I should be and they need me to. They have zero contact with their dad and zero wider family so its all on me. The pressure of that is contributing to my really bad depression. I don't know what to say to help you but I you're not on your own if that helps a bit. I do be honest with my kids and tell them I'm struggling and it's not anything to do with them. I still feel so bad tho.

[countrysolegirl]

I’m sorry it is hard. Are you able o get out and do anything for yourself in your community ? I go online and look at vacation prices and feel discouraged too.
I have seasonal depression that makes it hard to get up and go for much of the year where I live. I have been in the habit of being very critical of myself for not being able to be creative, motivated, energetic and fun during this season , but beating myself up about it only makes it worse.

[alz78]

Hi sorry not been on, to add to my worries I got made redundant last Monday with immediate effect. Im so lost with this life at the moment. Now I have no money for anything, I did allow myself to buy a takeawy & sweets for myself & daughter to sit watch a movie together & you know what it was wonderful & I didn’t feel guilty about spending money I don’t have to spend on luxuries.
Babs, Im sorry you feel that way too, its so difficult. Likewise we have no contact with father & his family. My family all have their own lives & don’t think they really understand how lonely & difficult things can be & well for my mum she just doesn’t bother but thats another issue that Im trying not to let bother me.

[jenniferdid]

This has upset me to read. Your obviously struggling, yet still found the motivation to get out of bed, shower, clean the house and cook dinner from scratch for you and your daughter. It sound's like your being very harsh on yourself, it also sounds like you may be bullying yourself or someone else is putting these negative thoughts on you? Sorry if I'm wrong. I would have loved for my mum to make the time to see me, let alone leave the house to go do something as trivial as fetch conditioner for me, cook dinner and clean the house. I've noticed when my self esteem is as low as yours sounds it makes me an easy target to bullying especially from those closest to me. I wish your efforts where more appreciated by yourself and others. Stay strong, I think you sound amazing, not like a failure. Hugs.xox