Thanks for your replies, it’s nice to know someone wants to listen. Some suggest writing things down, well here goes
I am a naturally shy person ,always have been so I find it hard to interact. I work 12 hour shifts where I am on my own and do nothing, and I mean nothing !!!! You can imagine the topic of conversation when I get home , it’s the same when I go out with my family and friends, I just have nothing to say and I end up being pushed away, I try to explain to my family how I feel but I might as well talk to the wall.
All my life I have been the same,so is it any wonder people leave me, my mother left when I was 17, and everyone I get close to seems to walk away. I know my wife is fed up with me and I wouldn’t blame her if she walked, she has 5 children from previous marriage, she is very extrovert and can talk to anyone. If she does walk I will lose everything, we have six granddaughters who I adore but she could just pull the rug from under my feet and then I would be left with nothing. My nerves are in bits and I just want it all to go away and for us to be happy, but how can it be when I am so Down.
Thanks for listening