I see from your thread that it is between Em and andthistoo so I'm not sure I should be on it. I really admire you and wanted to say that. Typical of me though, I read the whole thread, felt really interested but can't remember anything. I am lucky. My (2nd) husband is with me and I have never lived alone. I've no doubt I'd be just like you and I always say to B that he must go after me, he's 68, I'm 57. On bleak days I worry about this.
It's strange but I think we see strength in others more than we do in ourselves. I see you as a very strong person and I hope you know you are. I find people on here comforting. I think, well they're getting through their days, I can too.
Anyway, I've butted in, please excuse that.