Hello! I am a 41 year single mum. I have had a lot of years figuring out what is the matter with me?? I been diagnosed depression, anxiety disorder and feeling worthless. I had 3 break downs recent was last year, I also have signs of PTSD ( not diagnosed ). Recently I have realise my abuser is my mum. I have cut her out and blocked my phones and blocked my little brother phone as i is like her I can't be around him. I have a 9 year boy I can't let her around him, i will take the emotional abuse but she is not touching my son.
My mum is covert narcissistic abuser and a manipulatior, has lied about everything she forgets what she has lie in the first place. I been having nightmares someone was trying to kill, that person had no face! sometimes I have no idea what she will be when these faces will come up ( if that makes any sense).
Half of me it's all truth but half of me thinks I can't be try but no one will believe me, other people thinks she is amazing. Sometimes I just want a proffessional that it's true, I do not trust myself. I have been diagnosed of IBS, I have be careful what I eat but recently anything I eat I feel sick, tight stomach or stomach ache or pains, tension headaches this is mainly from my anxiety.
When I am thinking or writing this message to you, all of this symptoms all come up.
I have been reading some books and watched a video with Mederith Miller about narcissistic abuse, I feel I need to understand so I can be able to heal me! I had deny this abuse all of my life and now I don't know you I am any more.
But I feel very scared about my future.
Thankyou for reading my message