Welcome to SANE
Your welcome here and know that you can feel comfortable to begin to share what could have been difficult to share with anyone before.
Especially with guilt, paranoia and anxiety releasing your words can help to feel the relief from the pressure building within you from this.
It can be difficult for partners to understand and partly may find their frustration may sometimes be because they care and dont know how to help you. Communication and undertsnading is key to be able to be open as you both hope to expect.
Feel free to talk whenever you wish too, even at the times you most need to get the thoughts and feelings off your mind.
There is a good supportive community here, I hope you will gain benefit and from any support you may gain.