New Girl

[LadyKeldana]

Hi all
My name's Kel,I'm 21 and i've suffered from depression on and off for about 5 years. Currently i'm in the grip of a low thats lasted since september, and now i'm starting to worry that it's not depression, and I'm going mad.
Since september, i've lost 3 jobs due to panic attacks and depression. I changed GP in December bcause my old one was useless and the new one's haven't been much better. I was taking 150mg Venlafaxine but in March i stopped taking them because i couldn't afford my prescription. i had some money left over from my last temporary job and my gp gave me a new prescription for them but i find myself very reluctant to do so. they didn't make me feel any different when i was taking them, and it just doesn't seem like a good idea for some reason.
I've never had a mental health assessment or anything like that from my GP, i was depressed for quite some time without realising that it wasn't normal for everyone to feel like i do. Some friends had a sort of intervention to tell me, that was a few years ago and i went to my GP and said i think i had depression and he petty much just said ok here's pills. not a brilliant attitude.
Recently everything's gotten worse. I've started hallucinating from time to time and my mood swings are ridiculous. i don't know what to do. i even told my GP about the hallucinations but he didn't seem concerned. i see black crab/spider shaped scuttling out the corner of my eye and i know it's my mind, i can feel it. but i know that they're not really there, so i don't know what to think. all i know is i'm not getting any help and i'm feeling desperate.

[kay]

firstly welcome to the boards.
any medication for depression can take a little while to work so i hope you were able to give it a chance for your body to get used to. there is a possibility that it is just a case of finding the right medication for your body but that does mean going through the long stint of trying different medication till you find the right one.
i found that medication would help me to start of with and then my body got used to the medication and it stopped having any effect on me. i no longer take antidepressants, partly due to this but also because of other medical problems.
i dont know whether there is anything out there that could help with the financial side to paying for your prescriptions, i dont know if you can apply for anything to get reduced/free medication if you are on a low income. your doctor, doctor surgery or even local council may be able to offer adivce. someone on here might also be able to give you more advice. sorry i cant be of any more help.
do you think you would be able to ask your doctor if you can be refered to a counsellor as you feel it would be of benefit to you. with many doctor they will not do these things unless you actually ask for that in particular help.
do you think seeing another doctor at the same surgery may be of any help? is it worth a try in seeing someone else?
keep talking on these boards if you feel it is of some help to you. we will all try and support and help you as much as we can.
sorry cant be of any help.

[zeldiy]

Hi Kel,and welcome.
It sounds like your intuition is telling you that venflaxafine would be counter- productive if you took it. That's why you feel averse to taking it. I think your intuition is right.
Take care x

[zeldiy]

Forgot to add, I see those little black shapes too on occasion too. It can be unnerving but I wonder if it's to do with stress?

[LadyKeldana]

Thanks for the welcomes
i realised last night this depression actually started in May last year, not september. i know cos it was shortly after my friend had her baby and he's one already.
I've been on the waiting list for help from the local mental health team since september, but nothings come of it. I had a few brief sessions with a counsellor from another nhs service but after 4 sessions of me feeling awkward and her not really talking much she said there was nothing she could do for me, which made me really angry. even if that were true, telling me i'm a hopeless case isn't exactly the thing to say to someone suffering from depression. for all she knows, i could have gone home and offed myself because of her comment. and i'm not a hopeless case, she was just a useless counsellor. i thought they were supposed to talk you through things, ask you questions that make you think about stuff, etc. not "oh well, they don't know how to open up, it's pointless trying!"
i'm sure i just need to find the right counsellor though. i know it's supposed to be a lot of me talking and them listening but i need someone who's at least going to talk back, i hate one sided conversations because it makes me feel uncomfortable, and i'm hardly going to open up to somebody who makes me feel uncomfortable!

[zeldiy]

It can take a few different counsellors before you find one who is able to help you.Sounds like their counselling skills were somewhat poor. They had no right to tell you that, not very professional to say such a thing to someone who is at the end of their tether. Ask if you can be referred to a different one. Keep asking until you get the help you are entitled to. Stay strong x

[stressed]

Hi, She was just a useless counsellor. You are not a hopeless case, and I don't believe it for a minute. The fact is you were the first person to welcome me and offer me support when I needed it...I can't believe you are a newbie too, it taken be weeks to pluck up the courage to write something on here.

I totally understand where you are coming from about the cost of prescriptions though. I started on some new antidepressants in November and because the doctor wanted to see how I was doing on them, she would give me a prescription each week for my medication. I understand the logic, but it worked out as a very expensive and inconvenient way of doing things. I felt a bit daft explaining that i couldn't really afford to buy my pills antidepressents weekly, but now my presciptions last for two months...although i'm hoping to increase it to three. Sometimes it's good to talk

Stick with your instincts, because you know yourself better than anyone else.
Hope it all works out. Have you ever considered a career as a counsellor?

[judithj]

if you're on long-term medication or several meds, then you can buy a prepayment prescription at http://www.nhsbsa.nhs.uk/1127.aspx, hugs, Judith xxx

[LadyKeldana]

The fact is you were the first person to welcome me and offer me support when I needed it...I can't believe you are a newbie too, it taken be weeks to pluck up the courage to write something on here.

I'm a geek, internet forums are like a second home to me lol. i just jump on in.

I know about the prepayment thing, but i only found out a couple of months ago, by then my money was already gone

[stressed]

Thanks New Girl, i'm going to take a leaf out of your book and just jump into life a bit more