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Too strong for too long and I exploded this weekend

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Joined: Mon Feb 25, 2019 7:49 am

Too strong for too long and I exploded this weekend

Postby lenag85 » Mon Feb 25, 2019 8:01 am

:( hi all I’ve been going through a difficult time for the past year or so, my husband decided to extend in his job and we ended up living hours from family and friends. I have no support, I’m isolated, I live in a upside down house (kitchen bottom floor, bedrooms 3rd floor) with a toddler and baby and find each day hard work just going from floor to floor. I suffer from anxiety and situational depression for over a year. Saturday night I got very drunk locked myself in the toilet and screamed my head off, my husband ignored me all weekend and slept on the sofa when I tried to talk to him before this. He’d been away for 3 weeks then came home in a mood. The atmosphere was awful. I don’t speak to any friends because I don’t have any here and he’s my only adult conversation. I end up trying to do everything alone and then keep all my emotions in until I blow... I’m more embarrassed about the way I acted and cried, screamed, drank so much gin it makes me feel disgusted. I just feel like I’m losing my mind? I have to be strong for my kids but I feel like I’ve given up? I’m so miserable? I don’t see what to do anymore until we can move away from this job I’m stuck? Isolated and going mad... please tell me I’m not going mad :( moving away from here will alliviate all these problems but we have a few more months to go... why am I behaving this way? I’ve said I can’t cope for so long but I don’t like the way I’m behaving anymore?

Posts: 605
Joined: Mon Oct 30, 2017 10:07 pm

Re: Too strong for too long and I exploded this weekend

Postby betterinrecovery » Mon Apr 22, 2019 8:44 am

Dear Lenag85,
I wish I has seen your post, I would have written to you.
I hope things are better now.
With Best Regards

Posts: 21
Joined: Fri May 17, 2019 1:18 am

Re: Too strong for too long and I exploded this weekend

Postby dizzy.miss.lizzy » Sat May 18, 2019 12:57 am

have so been there and have so done that and have so worn the tee shirt but all of that is of little comfort to you I know, perhaps other than to understand I understand. It's tough being in that situation and feeling tired and knackered and bogged down in responsibilities and family duties and so on.

I'd love to be able to offer you lots of ideas about how to make it all better but to be honest, I am not very good at that nowadays as I'm out of touch with what kinds of family support are out there. My only suggestions would be to seek it for yourself, perhaps via the library or council etc? See if there are any support schemes or charities etc that might help lighten your load. even if it's only so you get a break for the luxury of a bath or something nice for YOU. Maybe do some rotas and schedules so you can use your time and energies more wisely?

I always used to say I needed a Me to do for me the things for me that I did for everyone else. Maybe lower your standards a little and stop expecting so much of and for you if that makes sense...? I was my own worst enemy for seeing pressure that didn't have to be there because I had this mistaken belief everything I did had to be perfect and "just so"... but does it? Clean and tidy-ish is enough as the dust will still be there tomorrow. Your "me" time will come, hang in there. All the best.

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