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Just moaning

Sometimes you just need to let off steam...
deb1960
Posts: 1841
Joined: Wed Jan 13, 2016 8:14 pm

Re: Just moaning

Postby deb1960 » Mon Sep 17, 2018 7:32 pm

Hi Em

I'm glad you decided against the college course. It seems you are taking things slowly and that's the best way.

I think recovery is to be treated carefully. You are still fragile.

I'm not great but I keep going and pray to God each night.

God bless
Deb x

Hi Natalie

You are absolutely right. Accepting my mental health is important though I struggle to do that. I think that's separate to mindfulness. Is it maybe one day at a time?

Deb x

littleem
Posts: 438
Joined: Sat Feb 11, 2017 11:30 am

Re: Just moaning

Postby littleem » Tue Sep 18, 2018 7:19 pm

Hi Deb,

You seemed a little brighter in your last post. Lighter, and more accepting. Be assured that God hears you and is with you whether we feel His presence or not. Stay strong.

How are you today?

Yes,slow and steady wins the race. I've been to a support group at MIND the first time today and finish a four-week course on overcoming depression and low mood next week. Going to a four-week course for Acceptance and Commitment Therapy starting this Thursday.

Find out about a job tomorrow and have an interview lined up Thursday if I don't get it. Positive steps at my pace.

Sorry if I've repeated myself. I don't know what I have already told you!

Have a good week and take care Deb.

Much love,

Em xxx

deb1960
Posts: 1841
Joined: Wed Jan 13, 2016 8:14 pm

Re: Just moaning

Postby deb1960 » Fri Sep 21, 2018 9:11 am

I find each day a struggle. I really hope the pregabalin helps. Normally I get a couple of good days here and there but now it's wall to wall anxiety. I get out each day and that's good I suppose. I know too that anxiety can be worse than this for people.

I just feel, and can't help it, that this time I'm in it forever. And so I want my life to rush by so I can be at peace. I really think there are lots of people who feel this way. I'm trying to tell myself it's catastrophic ththinking (which it is) but my thoughts are so negative and the total lack of good days (which hasn't happened before) make me feel hopeless.

I spoke to a worker at the drop in, she told me she'd had anxiety and had 250 panic attacks a day. Is that possible? She didn't take meds as she didn't want to and got better by focusing on things. I like her but all those panic attacks in a day is suspect.

It's making me feel a bit better typing this.

Yesterday I went to the craft group at the Salvation army. The minister Jane talked a bit to me about depression. I can't explain but ive got highly sensitized receptors in this area and she said something that hinted at judgement (not of me) . I never hear judgeme nt in fellow sufferers and judging anyone really puts me on alert.

You may not call this moaning which is perhaps because you recognise my pain. I recognise your compassion

Thank you xx

deb1960
Posts: 1841
Joined: Wed Jan 13, 2016 8:14 pm

Re: Just moaning

Postby deb1960 » Fri Sep 21, 2018 9:12 am

I find each day a struggle. I really hope the pregabalin helps. Normally I get a couple of good days here and there but now it's wall to wall anxiety. I get out each day and that's good I suppose. I know too that anxiety can be worse than this for people.

I just feel, and can't help it, that this time I'm in it forever. And so I want my life to rush by so I can be at peace. I really think there are lots of people who feel this way. I'm trying to tell myself it's catastrophic ththinking (which it is) but my thoughts are so negative and the total lack of good days (which hasn't happened before) make me feel hopeless.

I spoke to a worker at the drop in, she told me she'd had anxiety and had 250 panic attacks a day. Is that possible? She didn't take meds as she didn't want to and got better by focusing on things. I like her but all those panic attacks in a day is suspect.

It's making me feel a bit better typing this.

Yesterday I went to the craft group at the Salvation army. The minister Jane talked a bit to me about depression. I can't explain but ive got highly sensitized receptors in this area and she said something that hinted at judgement (not of me) . I never hear judgeme nt in fellow sufferers and judging anyone really puts me on alert.

You may not call this moaning which is perhaps because you recognise my pain. I recognise your compassion

Thank you xx

bradjenkins
Posts: 5
Joined: Wed Sep 19, 2018 9:25 am

Re: Just moaning

Postby bradjenkins » Fri Sep 21, 2018 9:17 am

I take things one day at a time. That helps me...

deb1960 wrote:I find each day a struggle. I really hope the pregabalin helps. Normally I get a couple of good days here and there but now it's wall to wall anxiety. I get out each day and that's good I suppose. I know too that anxiety can be worse than this for people.

I just feel, and can't help it, that this time I'm in it forever. And so I want my life to rush by so I can be at peace. I really think there are lots of people who feel this way. I'm trying to tell myself it's catastrophic ththinking (which it is) but my thoughts are so negative and the total lack of good days (which hasn't happened before) make me feel hopeless.

I spoke to a worker at the drop in, she told me she'd had anxiety and had 250 panic attacks a day. Is that possible? She didn't take meds as she didn't want to and got better by focusing on things. I like her but all those panic attacks in a day is suspect.

It's making me feel a bit better typing this.

Yesterday I went to the craft group at the Salvation army. The minister Jane talked a bit to me about depression. I can't explain but ive got highly sensitized receptors in this area and she said something that hinted at judgement (not of me) . I never hear judgeme nt in fellow sufferers and judging anyone really puts me on alert.

You may not call this moaning which is perhaps because you recognise my pain. I recognise your compassion

Thank you xx

deb1960
Posts: 1841
Joined: Wed Jan 13, 2016 8:14 pm

Re: Just moaning

Postby deb1960 » Sat Sep 22, 2018 8:59 am

Hi brad

If life is really tough then how can you manage that? Do you still lots of distress or does that ease?

Deb x

christabel
Posts: 2105
Joined: Sat Nov 29, 2014 4:49 am

Re: Just moaning

Postby christabel » Sat Sep 22, 2018 8:14 pm

Hi debs. Have you started the pregabalin. If so how long and are you feeling any benefit?

I am finding that it is the anxiety more than the depression that is causing me problems for a while now. I am managing to keep just about steady but I am interested how you are doing for if I need extra help anytime.

Have you managed to sort out your work days. Is it all the changes you have had to deal with that has set off this bad spell you are having.
Hope you feel stronger soon. Take care. Xxx Chris

deb1960
Posts: 1841
Joined: Wed Jan 13, 2016 8:14 pm

Re: Just moaning

Postby deb1960 » Sun Sep 23, 2018 10:09 am

Hi Chris

Thanks for answering

I've only been on the pregabalin for 2 weeks. It takes 3 to 4 weeks to work. I asked at the pharmacy and was told it's a good drug. I'm trying to avoid thinking about how it will go.

I suspect that my anxiety has become tied in with the seasons as last year i had an excellent summer and in early September my mood dropped. At the beginning of April I picked up and was well until mid August. I think anxiety/ depression can respond to any change and given i hate the winter i suspect that's thrown my mood. But then that's just a guess.

If the pregabalin works I will let you know though if it doesn't work for me it may for you. Obviously don't ask for it unless you really need it. Also it's used as an add on drug ie. If you're taking an AD already and they didn't want to change it they can add this. They don't want to change mine as it works on my depression.


Brad posted and suggested I live in the day. Actually I was very busy yesterday and managed to refuse to think beyond the day. It did help. Normally when thoughts come i try to work out solutions or imagine coping for the rest of my life.

I hope your anxiety continues to be manageable

Take care
Debs x

christabel
Posts: 2105
Joined: Sat Nov 29, 2014 4:49 am

Re: Just moaning

Postby christabel » Mon Sep 24, 2018 7:16 pm

Hi debs

Have you tried one of those light boxes? I've heard mention on here.

I don't much like winter but mainly because I'm terrified I slip. Having my husband retired now means I always have someone to help me as He has no fear of the snow and ice. He hates the cold though.
Saying that I have found the last few years a lot milder plus do you find that as we age the months fly over. I promise myself that I will catch up with all the neglected jobs in the house when it's bad weather and then I find its been and gone before I've done them.

I will look forward with interest at how you are doing with the meds.
It is unfortunate that we have to put up with recurring episodes of ill health. You have done right getting a bit extra help. Taking things day by day sounds good.

I am permanently on AD s and probably for life but if that how it has to be. I take beta blockers too which are supposed to help palpitations along with alsorts of other meds. Take care and be kind to yourself. X Chris .

deb1960
Posts: 1841
Joined: Wed Jan 13, 2016 8:14 pm

Re: Just moaning

Postby deb1960 » Mon Oct 29, 2018 11:15 am

I am now on pregabalin. The dose isn't high. I think it's beginning to work. Yet I 'm distressed by my fears today. They are the scary fears that come every few weeks. I feel them coming and then I get a couple of awful days. I can't really get used to this.

I am trying to recognise any good spells in this ie if I have half an hour ok then recognise that.

I see the doctor on Thursday which is good.

I have a crazy mind. No longer do I call it depression or anxiety. I am by no means proud of it but feel it's mine to call what I want. Crazy mind describes it well.

I do wander why so many of us must suffer with this. Bad luck I suppose.

Deb x


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