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Just moaning

Sometimes you just need to let off steam...
deb1960
Posts: 1829
Joined: Wed Jan 13, 2016 8:14 pm

Just moaning

Postby deb1960 » Wed Sep 05, 2018 1:53 pm

No reply is necessary and whether this will be cathartic or not I don't know.

Put simply. I hate living with mental illness. Yes I have spells when I'm well but my default is anxious. I try to put a positive spin on it but of course that's not possible. I've been in all day so far which I don't normally do but I'm very tired and had tto take a break . I have an appalling attitude towards my mental health. I can usually keep it in by being busy but my mind has been allowed too much space today.

I want to accept it. I can't. It's mild by comparison but it buggers up my life. If I had bad mental health I would probably see someone like me as a moaner. But I hate it.

Moan moan moan. Years will pass. I will feel ok then not ok and occasionally philosophical.

I will never agree with the religious idea that suffering is good. It's always bad. What we can do is suffer well. I am not doing that right now.

littleem
Posts: 434
Joined: Sat Feb 11, 2017 11:30 am

Re: Just moaning

Postby littleem » Wed Sep 05, 2018 3:42 pm

Hey Deb,

Sorry to hear things are tough. You’re not moaning.

Try to look at it this way. Everybody - in some way - suffers.

Comparing our suffering with others is not helpful. It only creates guilt and doesn’t change our current situation.

To me, to ‘suffer well’ seems to demand a pressure from us, that ‘we must.... we need... we should... we ought do.... just get on with it’.

How about instead of ‘suffering well’, you could ‘soothe well’? What I am referring to is how well you can respond to your suffering.

Focus on the positives and on your achievements, only very gently push yourself to do what you know will help you feel better, allow yourself to rest and treat yourself with kindness and compassion.

You are coping so well, Deb. Much better than you could possibly realise I bet. :)

Allow yourself to take a breather. Pop out for a little stroll if you feel up to it tonight, else relax and do something you enjoy. Pop out tomorrow. It’s a new day. :)

You’re in my thoughts and prayers.

You take care, love Em xxx

maisi
Posts: 526
Joined: Fri Jul 20, 2018 9:29 pm

Re: Just moaning

Postby maisi » Wed Sep 05, 2018 11:05 pm

Hi em and debs,

Wonderful conversation about harshness and gentleness, and great advice for any of us, and great outlet for that frustration of wanting to know when will it get easier. Nothing to add really but I feel it too.

deb1960
Posts: 1829
Joined: Wed Jan 13, 2016 8:14 pm

Re: Just moaning

Postby deb1960 » Thu Sep 06, 2018 8:42 am

Hi Maisi

Thanks for answering. Every little helps. I don't know you although I saw a very helpful text you sent to Isap.
Your life is tough too I think. I am willing to listen and maybe we can support each other. Earlier this year there were quite a few people here helping each other but unfortunately most have left.

Hi Em
Thanks for your caring text. I suppose I do expect too much of myself. Though I find that living a life where I think of others helps me. We can't compare our suffering to others but knowing that so many people in the world get through each day helps me believe that I can too

How are you keeping?

God Bless
Deb x

andthistoomustpass
Posts: 1658
Joined: Wed Nov 02, 2016 11:02 pm

Re: Just moaning

Postby andthistoomustpass » Thu Sep 06, 2018 9:33 pm

Hi Deb

You are right, it can be bloody hard living with this stuff. I think we all deserve a moan from time to time.

tofler
Posts: 291
Joined: Thu Sep 08, 2016 11:33 pm
Location: England (North East)

Re: Just moaning

Postby tofler » Fri Sep 07, 2018 6:31 am

Hi Deb, there's definitely nothing wrong with having a moan, so just go for it whenever you need to! I can very much identify with what you said about getting tired so having a day at home to rest but that gives your mental illness too much time and space to roam about! I do better when I can keep myself busy (but not too busy!) but sometimes I feel exhausted and have a day to myself when I see nobody, go nowhere and struggle to get out of bed and do basic self-care stuff and look after myself. Those days tend to be very bad days for my mental health, even though I needed the rest!

Anyway, I hope that things are improving for you since how you were on Wednesday? Do you have any plans for today?

deb1960
Posts: 1829
Joined: Wed Jan 13, 2016 8:14 pm

Re: Just moaning

Postby deb1960 » Fri Sep 07, 2018 8:00 am

Hi tofler

Thank you so much for your post. I need it as I feel so awful. Yesterday was very bad too and I'm scared of today. In my anxiety I think that my mental health will just get worse and worse (it took a down turn last year) I try not to turn to my husband too much. He's very good.

Today i am helping in the charity shop in the morning. In the afternoon I go to a mental health drop in. It used to be good but things have changed so I don't find it very helpful.

Thank you for listening. Do you have depression or anxiety or both. Do you struggle a lot? I'm asking because although I know I'm not alone i feel alone. Isap is very good but suffering far too much so he can't help too much now and i wouldn't want him to.

Anyway just speaking on here and knowing people understand helps

Take care
Deb x

littleem
Posts: 434
Joined: Sat Feb 11, 2017 11:30 am

Re: Just moaning

Postby littleem » Fri Sep 07, 2018 8:44 pm

Just letting you know that I'm thinking of you and that I care about you. You are not alone and this pain will pass. I hope you had a better day today and that you're feeling okay tonight.

God bless, love and prayers, Em xx

tofler
Posts: 291
Joined: Thu Sep 08, 2016 11:33 pm
Location: England (North East)

Re: Just moaning

Postby tofler » Sat Sep 08, 2018 2:18 am

Hi Deb, sorry to hear that Thursday was another bad day for you and I'm wondering how Friday was for you? I have depression and anxiety but it's the depression that is the biggest issue for me. Some times it's worse than others. I was very low during June and July but the last few weeks have been a bit better for me. It's very changeable and I find that living with my mh is always an ongoing "project", something that I have to work at in order to try and keep my head above water! It's so frustrating when a relapse comes along though because I start thinking along the lines of "Here we go again, just when I thought things were starting to get better and I'm back to square one again, I'm such a useless idiot...." and then things deteriorate rapidly when I start thinking like that!

Anyway, I hope you have an ok weekend, do you have anything planned?

deb1960
Posts: 1829
Joined: Wed Jan 13, 2016 8:14 pm

Re: Just moaning

Postby deb1960 » Sat Sep 08, 2018 4:40 pm

Hi em and tofler

Thank you both for your posts. I feel so vulnerable just now and really hope you don't mind me putting this on to you. I tend to have expectations. Yesterday was bad too but each Friday tea timish a few of us go to the pub for our tea. I always enjoy this but last night I felt very down. This fed into my anxiety so when I went to bed I felt really bad and slept badly. By the time I got up I knew that my life would never improve and just wished I could die. Today I helped at the charity shop. The day wasn't good but no worse than II'd expected.

Does any of that sound familiar? The mind changing the truth so cleverly, and even now I don't feel sure it will pass. Truly I don't know how things will go. It feels that by letting this spiral I will not be able to get out of it.

I'm sorry I'm going on but I feel scared.

Deb x


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