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struggling to get things right!

Sometimes you just need to let off steam...
Posts: 8
Joined: Wed Jul 04, 2018 11:51 am

struggling to get things right!

Postby beigh » Wed Jul 04, 2018 12:25 pm

i am absolutely disgusted with myself, i cant do anything right...i'm too far gone in my illnesses, cant control myself and cant stop the voices. This time my impulses have caused criminal damage at my fathers place and i have a broken arm with multiple fractures and covered in bruises. Luckily the charges were dropped due to family members persuading my alcoholic father.
i have had abuse shouted at me because of my actions and i am so ashamed, my sister is fuming because her wedding is in 3 weeks and i will have a big cast on my arm.
Over the years my so called father has done so much emotional damage to me, hes destroyed my life! Everyone seems to protect him and look after him and i am just a burden to them, they are all fed up of me and i hate that. i have withdrawn from them and decided to try find support online, i don't want to face my family anymore, i cant hack it, they don't understand.
I dont understand all the emotions and feelings, so i lash out, urgh....i dont know what to do anymore...
rant over

Posts: 605
Joined: Mon Oct 30, 2017 10:07 pm

Re: struggling to get things right!

Postby betterinrecovery » Fri Jul 06, 2018 2:08 pm

Dear Beigh,

I don't know the answer, but I want you to know that I read your message.

There is a lot going on in your life and in the life of your family and soon there will be a wedding a joyous occasion that can also be very stressful, (stating the obvious here).

Might it be possible for you to take a few days out, to be on your own and just relax? Maybe go to another town for a day, walk around have something to eat - even a packed lunch and just have time away - just to be calm? would that be a good idea?
Then perhaps you could see things from different angles - the relaxation might enable you to feel a bit better.
Then you might be better able to start to deal with things.
But I am wishing you well and hoping that things get better soon.

Posts: 189
Joined: Fri Apr 27, 2018 4:22 pm

Re: struggling to get things right!

Postby capitalt » Sun Jul 08, 2018 10:58 am

I would urge you to discuss this with your doctor.
Good luck.

Posts: 8
Joined: Wed Jul 04, 2018 11:51 am

Re: struggling to get things right!

Postby beigh » Mon Jul 09, 2018 2:53 pm

Thankyou for responding,
i will definitely take the advice, spend some time away and also get back onto my mental health team, they are useless but i will keep calling them and try to make an urgent appointment

kind regards

Posts: 459
Joined: Sun Nov 05, 2017 6:10 pm

Re: struggling to get things right!

Postby teamn » Sat Jul 14, 2018 11:51 pm

I realised this year that my family, in particular my faithervwill only ever see things from his perspective. I realised thyme continuously hoping for him to notice what i need abdctge family to notice what i Need only sesame more frustraed, allows them a form of control over me making me feel needy, hopeless and dependent on their affection.

Once I really thought to myself I'm a grin woman and I should not depend on anyone to try to understand me, or love me, (sounds Corny , but I nee to love myself). I thought the family still treating me like I'm a child and I am 41!! Am I gonna spend another 40 years with them testing me like a child, and worse still me responding to the. Like a child.. I mean needy, you know when a child craves love abd affection.. mynanswer was no. So over past few months since I've had my own space I've cleared my head and heart and left them to Iit. I don't try to please them, I don't go to functions if I know they are going to act up which will then make me respond negatively.

I just don't need the Sh'"t anymore in my life. It gets lonely not gonna lie, but at lest I'm not being emotionally abused as that's definitely what was happening.

Be strong there light at end of the tunnel and a beautiful life ahead when you realise you don't need them to treat you like that, nothing yiu will do will make them change, so yiu have to keep some distance and also yup go doctors , councellimg, get support all round.

All the best

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