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Help if possible

Sometimes you just need to let off steam...
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Help if possible

Postby rich980h » Sat Sep 16, 2017 8:43 pm

Nice way to start a new chat. This is my first post. I need help please, My fiancee has told me i need to move out, We have two young daughters. I have lied to her to hide my mental feeling and she has told me that she doesn't know if she wants me back or not.
At the time i didn't realise that i couldn't speak to people about my feeling, About what i have seen a my work. except a younger female co worker who, we used to text each other. I found it easy to speak to her as she had seen some of the same things Nothing ever in it(Old enough to be her dad) but i understand how it looks from the outside. My fiancee found the messages and obviously I moved out for a few days until we could speak about it.
I really do not know what to do, If i move out its for a minimum time 6 months and there is no way of knowing what will happen.

I have only just discovered that i have mental health issues and all of this on top is sending me over the top. I never in a million years ever wanted to hurt her but I might have lost everything. Any help would really be appreciated

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Joined: Mon Apr 24, 2017 4:12 pm

Re: Help if possible

Postby rsxo » Sun Sep 17, 2017 8:07 am

Hi rich980h,

Sorry to hear what's happened. I think that your fiancee will be hurt that you felt you could trust a (in her eyes) random co-worker over her. You know that it looks like you've been cheating behind her back, and to be honest, she has every right to leave right now. You could try to discuss what happened with her, mental health and everything, and hope that she changes her mind, but beware that this also risks making things worse. Whatever happens, the longer it drags on, the more mentally drained you will both feel, and the larger impact it will have on your mental healthx

Much love <3
RSxo <3

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Joined: Sun Jun 04, 2017 5:25 pm

Re: Help if possible

Postby lucym » Sun Oct 01, 2017 8:43 am

Hi Rich,

As a woman and for your sake be honest with her. It's crunch time and as you seem really aware of what is at stake just tell her the truth and try if you can to be open to going to get help. The first step to recovery is admitting there is a problem and you've already done that. So you need to be brave, if you can, and get yourself to the doctors. If you feel you can't do it alone then maybe you could ask your fiancé- after explaining things to her- or a friend or family member?

I understand that things might not be that simple right now, but it seems like you kept things covered up because you were scared. You don't have to be scared. And everything might seem so awful and jumbled now but you will get through it- I really hope you can believe that? Sending you lots of encouragement.

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Re: Help if possible

Postby Isap » Sun Oct 01, 2017 12:58 pm

Hi Rich

Sorry to hear of your situation. Its very common here, and I suspect there is a bit more to this than you admitted, but its good to accept you have mental problems and get something done about it. Your situation doesn't sound hopeless but you have a lot of grovelling to do.

Good luck


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