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Phobia of boyfriend watching shows with sex and nudity in

Sometimes you just need to let off steam...
triceratops
Posts: 7
Joined: Wed Feb 12, 2020 7:52 pm

Re: Phobia of boyfriend watching shows with sex and nudity in

Postby triceratops » Wed Feb 12, 2020 8:09 pm

annabelle3 wrote:I just broke up with the guy I have been seeing past couple months. I liked him alot but yesterday he wanted to watch a movie, seemed like one I shouldn't be 'scared of', but then of course the actress got naked, full front breasts, then a couple sex scenes with her fully naked. This morning I said to him 'you were sitting next to me and looking at another naked women, moaning having sex. And then you asked me if I liked the movie?! No, I didn't like it' and I said we're too different and broke it off. He said 'so what?' and 'it was just a couple scenes, it's not like the whole movie was about it..'.
Some of you are saying this is taking over your life? It already took mine over.I'm 35 y.o. I am never going to have a husband, a family.. I am never going to love and be loved like I dreamed of since a child. Because of this shit.
Btw, someone called this a 'moral compass' of ours. Well, the internet, my friends (female!) and therapist use the terms 'insecurity', 'too controlling', 'low self-esteem', 'unrealistic expectations'. I can't even discuss this with anyone I know as I'm tired of being laughed at or looked at with pity.

Girl I feel you so much!! I know exactly what you mean like it bothers me and its not because I am insecure of myself, or hate my body or start comparing myself to those naked women and then feel my self esteem drop. Its not jealously either. Its just simply the fact that I just do not want my significant other seeing other naked women just like I dont see naked men (so rare compared to women and even then men are not sexualised like women are in the media). I just feel like its something intimate and as idealistic as it sounds I want to be the only women he sees naked you know. Just doesnt feel special if it isnt that way and he sees other naked women right after we have sex or whatever. I added you girl!

soso
Posts: 5
Joined: Mon Feb 03, 2020 9:15 pm

Re: Phobia of boyfriend watching shows with sex and nudity in

Postby soso » Wed Feb 12, 2020 8:44 pm

triceratops wrote:Hey everyone! Just signed up and SO relieved I found this thread! I hope you don't mind me adding you. I have never met anyone else irl with this "issue" or who has felt the same way about this (also scared to tell anyone because of the fear that they will judge me..). I am always made to feel like something is inherently wrong with me. It would be great to connect guys! <3 Feel you all so much!



Hey ! I dont think anyone made a facebook group just yet. But if you want to contact me there is no problem i'd love to discuss our crazy common problems haha

triceratops
Posts: 7
Joined: Wed Feb 12, 2020 7:52 pm

Re: Phobia of boyfriend watching shows with sex and nudity in

Postby triceratops » Wed Feb 12, 2020 9:18 pm

soso wrote:
triceratops wrote:Hey everyone! Just signed up and SO relieved I found this thread! I hope you don't mind me adding you. I have never met anyone else irl with this "issue" or who has felt the same way about this (also scared to tell anyone because of the fear that they will judge me..). I am always made to feel like something is inherently wrong with me. It would be great to connect guys! <3 Feel you all so much!



Hey ! I dont think anyone made a facebook group just yet. But if you want to contact me there is no problem i'd love to discuss our crazy common problems haha


Hey sounds good! would love to. So i just added you as a friend. I just made this account literally to comment on this thread so not entirely sure how it works. How can I message you?

soso
Posts: 5
Joined: Mon Feb 03, 2020 9:15 pm

Re: Phobia of boyfriend watching shows with sex and nudity in

Postby soso » Wed Feb 12, 2020 11:06 pm

triceratops wrote:
soso wrote:
triceratops wrote:Hey everyone! Just signed up and SO relieved I found this thread! I hope you don't mind me adding you. I have never met anyone else irl with this "issue" or who has felt the same way about this (also scared to tell anyone because of the fear that they will judge me..). I am always made to feel like something is inherently wrong with me. It would be great to connect guys! <3 Feel you all so much!



Hey ! I dont think anyone made a facebook group just yet. But if you want to contact me there is no problem i'd love to discuss our crazy common problems haha


Hey sounds good! would love to. So i just added you as a friend. I just made this account literally to comment on this thread so not entirely sure how it works. How can I message you?


Yeah I have no idea either. So just contact me there by mail ;) solene.goujon@hotmail.fr.

triceratops
Posts: 7
Joined: Wed Feb 12, 2020 7:52 pm

Re: Phobia of boyfriend watching shows with sex and nudity in

Postby triceratops » Thu Feb 13, 2020 2:20 pm

annabelle3 wrote:I'm going to Vietnam with my friend. He's been like family past 16 years but I couldn't tell him about this
.he loudly says other girls are hot even when he's in a relationship. And his ex gf didn't mind! She laughed it off. I'm so jealous of women who are so chilled in this regard. I'm so obsessed. Last time I went on hol to Thailand alone I was starring at all the women on the beach, like a lesbian lol, and I was thinking how would I ever be able to go on hol with a bf if I ever had one. I was thinking what he would think of every one of those women. Crazy. I constantly try to figure out how other women deal with this. How can they lay on the beach with their partners,even if looking fab, if there are other semi naked women around? How do these women feel loved? Would they feel loved and like 'the only one' if their partner would glance at other women and think they're hot? Do they believe their men don't do that? Do they not care if their man finds other women attractive? Omg I could go on forever! And I do, in my brain!! :(
Enjoy Australia as much as you can. I wish I could give you some advice but I'm also stuck :(

Just wanted to say all of these thoughts you have 'the only one', and everything you mentioned really are my exact thoughts as if you stole them from my head :(

triceratops
Posts: 7
Joined: Wed Feb 12, 2020 7:52 pm

Re: Phobia of boyfriend watching shows with sex and nudity in

Postby triceratops » Thu Feb 13, 2020 2:33 pm

jill wrote:PS to all of you who think this is a "phobia" its NOT. Its a MORAL issue and I dont care what anyone says, everyone knows at a base level what is right and wrong.


I must agree with this. So torn between am I inherently at fault or is it just this society? A society that sexualises women in everything depicting them as objects for entertainment. Women are since birth conditioned and shaped by their environment to feel as if they are not enough all these unrealistic beauty standard set upon us by the cosmetic, fashion, media, marketing telling us that we need to do things like wear makeup or have a certain body type a slim nose big lips long hair etc. that we need to change the way we look to fit in. All the women in movies on ads in television are young, photoshopped, edited, have professional makeup down on them have surgery one represent one small fraction of beauty. How can a women feel naturally beautiful in a world where "fakeness" and unrealistic beauty standards are praised and set as norm. Like sometimes when I don't wear make up and go bare faced I find myself subconsciously apologising as if it's a women duty in this world to look "pretty". Like how can a couple be happy and a women in a relationship feel special or good, knowing that wherever her spouse goes he will be forced to see pictures of sexualised women on billboards on ads at busstops, magazines. Everywhere even in the most random places where you wouldnt expect it there will always we come half naked women somwhere (for real doe smh). I just feel weird say I get intimate with my partner then later we watch a movie and then he sees other naked women (especially because in movies and during sex scenes the camera focus is basically just on the women not the man and men arent sexualised like women are and if so very very rare). As you said, it just doensnt feel right at the very core. And i definitely think our societal construct play a very big role in this.

hayes
Posts: 4
Joined: Sat Aug 10, 2019 10:40 pm

Re: Phobia of boyfriend watching shows with sex and nudity in

Postby hayes » Sat Feb 15, 2020 8:05 am

Hi. I'm really struggling too. I think part of my problem is that there is female nudity in almost everything now and no male nudity at all!!! It really annoys me it's wrong and immoral. There should be equal male nudity or none at all. I don't see why it's necessary anyway. The camera could be discreet. Nudity suggested not shown. Sex and nudity should be kept to the private bedroom... Intimate between couples. Not splashed out on TV and in public. Those that want it can watch porn.... It should not be daily occuring. It's going to be the end of my relationship. I can't compete with all the beautiful skinny big boobed. Naked women on TV. Can't see a solution except maybe ending my life.

tsoondohkoo
Posts: 1
Joined: Sun Feb 16, 2020 11:10 am

Re: Phobia of boyfriend watching shows with sex and nudity in

Postby tsoondohkoo » Sun Feb 16, 2020 11:17 am

If there is a facebook group, I would absolutely love to be part of it. But I have no idea who made a group and how to contact them. Please help me. X

sophie94
Posts: 18
Joined: Wed Sep 04, 2019 3:14 pm

Re: Phobia of boyfriend watching shows with sex and nudity in

Postby sophie94 » Mon Feb 17, 2020 5:05 pm

Has anyone got anyone to contact? Who i can talk to, express my isssues, i have been told because my issues and insecurities are so bad im now emotionally abusing my bf which i have been told by a therapist, everything is just coming crashing down

soso
Posts: 5
Joined: Mon Feb 03, 2020 9:15 pm

Re: Phobia of boyfriend watching shows with sex and nudity in

Postby soso » Mon Feb 17, 2020 8:08 pm

Hey ! So we created a whatsapp group. If u give me your number by mail I can add you to the group. I let my email above on the previous comments :) we can all support each other then


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