Hi, I googled why I was feeling the way that I do, a pretty normal thing for me to do as it helps me understand why I feel the things the way I do, I am always directed to the mental heath pages to help with anxiety. I am so glad I found this post. I have been with my boyfriend for 2 years, over these 2 years , I feel like I’ve had my trust betrayed by this so MANY times. It took a lot for me to talk about it in the first place and I have asked that, if anything seems like it could get awkward, or you think it might be upsetting me, why not just turn it over ? All I have asked is that, please don’t do it in front of me.. I have been upset at the thought of him looking at other women but I just felt like there is nothing I can do about that.. so please just don’t watch it in front of me ?? 4 days ago now, we were watching the tele together as usual , and when this scene came on he was watching and laughing .. so I asked .. why couldn’t you just turn it off and why did you laugh if you know how I feel about it?? He got angry at me and said is he not allowed to do anything I said.. do what you want just not in front of me, I feel like your laughing at me , he said he was laughing at the women on the tele and that I don’t understand the concept of women in revealing clothing all over each other blowing stuff up and I just thought .. well yes, I do understand the concept of it as that is why it’s making me feel uncomfortable... he then runs off in a fit of rage and goes to bed . I slept on the couch that night as I had trouble sleeping and was just tossing and turning in bed. He did not make any effort that day to contact me, until he came home from work. I felt so betrayed and I just wasn’t ready to talk yet. So when he does want to talk he says “yes I should of turned it over” so I thought so, you knew , but you didn’t do it anyway.. it’s not like this is the first time this has happened when I told him that I just didn’t believe what he was saying to me because to be honest it just wasn’t making sense and the week before he has blamed it on being “drunk” and I let that go.. so for it happen a week later, and for him to laugh I just thought no. He runs away, without his phone ... for 4 hours, I kept saying to myself he will be back he will be back and I tried my hardest not to have a breakdown as he was missing and I was starting the think the worst. On his return he goes to bed and then starts smashing the house up he has put a massive hole in our bedroom door . I slept in the garage that night. When I asked where he was for 4 hours, he told me he had passed out on a park bench and didn’t know where he was .... Since then, this has escalated very very very extremely, I am not saying I did nothing wrong as I felt really angry hurt and upset about what has gone on over the past couple of days, so I have shouted , I have tried to get my point across. He ran away again. He would not speak to me as I kept questioning his answer of being passed out on a bench. I’m sorry, but this just does not make sense to me. In the end , he does not speak to me atall and tells me to “pack a bag for a couple of days until he is ready to talk” and that was it... I seen red ... I was so upset he would not speak to me he would not sort it out with me and now I’m the one that has to leave ??? I had to ring my mum as I was suffering from a massive panic attack , my family came round and removed all my furniture and stuff out of the house to bring me home with them. I feel like , this is not what I wanted .. I was so hurt and upset and this has just been blown out of proportion, the rest of my stuff was left outside the house that next day. And he still hasn’t spoken to me since. I did not want my relationship to end like this, and I don’t know how to make it right. I wish I hadn’t of got my family involved. If I had of just packed a bag and left then this wouldn’t of happened. I feel like I’m a horrible person, it’s so hard to talk about how I feel, yet even when I do I just feel like it’s not listened to anyway? Like I said to him how would you like it if I just watched stuff like that in front of you, and he told me he wouldn’t be bothered by it. So now I just feel crazy, I have messaged him a million times but he won’t reply. I think it’s time for me to move on and let go but I love him. Please help.