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Why is it?

Sometimes you just need to let off steam...
christabel
Posts: 2106
Joined: Sat Nov 29, 2014 4:49 am

Re: Why is it?

Postby christabel » Fri Nov 11, 2016 9:38 pm

Thanks Tony

I know the saying well. Another one I try to live by is ' least said soonest mended '

Every since the incident my anxiety level has been through the roof. It has affected everything I do. These last few years have taken there toll and I feel on a knife edge if anything upsets me.

On the positive side a old neighbour sent me a e mail an said that hubby and me were lovely. Thank goodness for the decent people.

Take care Chris

cathybear
Posts: 17
Joined: Fri Dec 02, 2016 1:11 am

Re: Why is it?

Postby cathybear » Wed Dec 07, 2016 2:09 am

Unfortunately there are many people in the world who find that the only way to raise themselves up is by putting others down. I have had many of these kinds in my life, and I am a very sensitive, anxious person who takes many things to heart so it is very difficult to try not to let it destroy me. But just think, they were below you for a reason. You are the bigger and better person.

Keep going x

cathybear
Posts: 17
Joined: Fri Dec 02, 2016 1:11 am

Re: Why is it?

Postby cathybear » Wed Dec 07, 2016 2:18 am

I had a "friend" (not sure I could ever really call them that.. It was a very harmful friendship to say the least) who always always put me down to make them feel better about themselves. I have a constant fear that people won't like me and I also can't deal with the idea of people being upset with me, so I can never call people out for something or tell them no when I need to, so this "friend" took advantage of that completely. I tried my best never to let it show that what they would say to me would hurt me because they too would also just tell me I am being too sensitive or that it's because I am a woman and maybe I am just PMSing (extremely disrespectful I think!) and that I had no reason to feel hurt. But recently this person said some of the worst things imaginable to me and also told me that all of this is my fault and I brought everything upon myself. I was absolutely devastated, angry, upset, etc and all I wanted to do was scream and shout at them. I wanted them to see that they were wrong, that everything they thought was completely untrue, and extremely hurtful.. and just outright twisted. I just wanted to tell them how angry I was (I also do not get angry easily). But I knew with this person they would always turn the situation around and blame it on me.. there is never any winning, and saying everything I wanted to say would not get me anywhere. So only behind closed doors did I scream and shout and cry, but to them I refused to give them the response they were hoping for.. I did not want them to have that power, so I stayed civil. I continue to stay civil about it, though it still deeply hurts me and I cannot get all of those horrible words out of my head, but to this day I dread the thought of ever bumping into that person or having to speak to them again.

I am so grateful though for the majority of people who are good, genuine, supportive, caring and loving. Luckily I had some wonderful people who are close to me who supported me through it and have always backed me up. But despite that, the anxiety cannot be shaken.

christabel
Posts: 2106
Joined: Sat Nov 29, 2014 4:49 am

Re: Why is it?

Postby christabel » Thu Dec 08, 2016 12:54 am

Hi cathy

Well done for holding out to this individual. They are not worth bothering with. I am certainly cool with the person who offended me and will be from now on unless got an apology. Unfortunately it's a family member who I actually cared about but it's their loss. There is no need for that behaviour and I found it even more upsetting because I would not treat people like that.

Through putting a face on in front others they don't obviously think there is much wrong with me. If they had to live a day with what we suffer they wouldn't know what hit them.

You are very lucky having supportive people around you. Apart from my immediate family I find people either don't want to know or just want fuel to gossip about. Fellow sufferers have much more compassion and understanding so I rather talk with them. X Chris


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