Hi I'm new to this but I'm so hurt and angry. And very grateful to find this forum.
I've been teaching for 14 years and its finally taken it's toll. My head teacher is brilliant and has given me an unpaid year off to try to get a better handle on my depression and anxiety and to recover from a small stoke I had earlier this year. I talked it all over with my husband before agreeing. Having a large tax rebate means that I can still pay my half of the bills and despite my anxiety making it really hard some days, I have managed to get some supply work which helps too. Today he told me that he has been getting increasingly annoyed by a lack of evidence that I do anything when I'm not working. In fact he's got so wound up he's given himself stomach ulcers.
So after that bombshell he went on to list all my failings. I tried to explain things from my point of views but then he also complained that I don't talk to him about anything - he's right, because when I do (including a time I was so distressed I wanted to harm myself) he's reaction is to roll his eyes. Hardly an encouraging or supporting response!
So obviously I was feeling truly awful that I had done this to him. Then my black dog started to heap on my own list of failings and generally make me feel completely useless and shit.
Now I'm really pissed off - partly because I know he has a right to be annoyed, when I'm not working it's incredibly hard to motivate myself. It's pisses me off too!!! But also because he always manages to make everything about him. If I've got a headache, he's got one that's so bad he feels sick.
I'm paying my bills, I'm cooking for him, I'm doing DIY jobs around the house gradually but because the place isn't spotless he's making himself ill !!!???? Bloody hell!!!