Hey Helen, good to hear from you.
I went to doctors a couple of days ago, and completely poured my eyes out in front of him. He now realises exactly how bad I am feeling, and is actually referring to the MHT (but beforehand I got passed back and forth between them and CBT), so we'll see if it goes anywhere.
I still can't tell any family or friends of how I am - but it's getting to the stage where it's impossible for me to go out, as the other day, I got terrified of seeing certain people, and wet myself just before I went out.
So maybe, for you, it might not be a bad thing at uni, where you don't know anyone. That way no-one knows your past, or secrets, or current struggles. And it might be worth looking into whether the uni has a counsellor on campus - they might be able to help to talk to or give you contacts that might be helpful.
But what I do think is really important, is to make an appointment with your doctor, and really bare yourself emotionally, so they are seeing how you truly feel.
Have you thought about the possibility of deferring for a year - do you think it maybe something that would be beneficial to you?