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Disgusted, angry, crying, appalled

Posted: Mon Aug 11, 2014 11:29 pm
by Gem2129
Hi guys,
I'm new to all this so just finding my way around the site but am so angry about something that happened to me recently. How can I see a link worker on a Friday, say I feel suicidal then pick up a prescription on the Monday for 100+ pills?! I hope I haven't said anything I shouldn't have but how is that allowed? I already felt worthless, why didn't they just give me the glass of water to take them all with?! My apologies if I'm speaking out of turn. I just can't believe it

Re: Disgusted, angry, crying, appalled

Posted: Tue Aug 12, 2014 10:49 am
by belle
Hello.
This sort of thing happens to me too.
My meds are managed but it doesn't mean I can't sort out my needs.
However the rest of the support I get makes me feel the same.
You reach out for help and often at best there is nothing and at worse the situation is made more volatile and inflammatory to the point it seems they are trying to cause you harm. I realise that mightread as paranoid but it's how it is.
Can you give most of your meds to a friend to supervise while you feel so vulnerable?
x

Re: Disgusted, angry, crying, appalled

Posted: Tue Aug 12, 2014 10:54 am
by Avalon
Maybe ask your GP for weekly prescriptions, it's a bit of a pain but some people find it really supportive.
I guess the other way to look at it is that the prescription may have already been there before you saw your link worker.

Re: Disgusted, angry, crying, appalled

Posted: Tue Aug 12, 2014 2:09 pm
by PureFrustr8d
hi Gem, welcome to the forum. This kinda thing has always been a catch 22 for me because I want to be open re how I feel but not have the professionals overreact and treat me as if I have no power over my thoughts/intentions. Once I was kept for hours in a small room with no-one in it until an ambulance came to take me to a psychiatric hospital just because I said I was feeling suicidal! Other times I've has referrals put in to social services after being honest and that just brought about a whole heap of stress that I really could have done without. When I say its a catch 22, I mean, I want to be taken seriously and have help but at the same time I don't want them thinking I'm not capable of not acting on my thoughts.

Ultimately ending our life is our decision and ours alone even if it does seem like others are helping us with the process.

I don't know what it's like where you live but the support worker I had from link was not their to help me with deep psychological troubles - when a person has serious problems they tend to be unable to continue the support and a referral to another service follows. There are lots of things this link worker can help you with, focus on that. For your deeper troubles, go back to the doctor.

Peace

Re: Disgusted, angry, crying, appalled

Posted: Tue Aug 12, 2014 8:49 pm
by Gem2129
Hi guys,

Thank you for your comments. I think I will have my prescription done on a weekly basis. Thank you for that. I do think you're right Avalon, the prescription may have been there before seeing the link worker though I do feel there should have been something flagged up when I went to collect it. I don't know if such a thing exists, maybe in an ideal world. All I know is that this could've easily ended very differently and I'd hate for someone else to experience this.

Belle - I absolutely get what you are saying. Getting the courage to even ask for help is a mission, any help you then receive should never make you feel worse but sadly this happens. After telling a support worker I felt suicidal, he said he'd report that I was in good spirits. When I questioned this, he said he had targets to meet and boxes to tick. Charming. It would be nice to be treated as an individual rather than a number.

PureFrustr8ed - Thank you for sharing your experiences. True the link worker wasn't meant to be a long term thing but even he has said he doesn't know what else can be offered (I've tried a supported back to work programme, CBT, different meds, counselling etc). It's hard to ask for help isn't it. You want to be heard, acknowledged, understood, supported but not smothered, independent but be able to depend on others. I guess in a way that's how we've all ended up here.

Gem

Re: Disgusted, angry, crying, appalled

Posted: Tue Aug 12, 2014 10:23 pm
by belle
Not sure where you are but here my pharmacy get a weekly scrip off the GP for psych meds - they collect it - then I just go once a week and collect 7 days worth. I just had to sign a form and they do all the running around. Great service and possibly lots offer it as it's a competitive market it would appear for reasons I don't understand. Worth asking aabout if you would like some external control on how many meds you have access to.
Xx

Re: Disgusted, angry, crying, appalled

Posted: Tue Aug 12, 2014 10:29 pm
by Gem2129
Thank you Belle, that's good to know. I shall definitely enquire about it. Thank you. Gem x