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Had enough Trig

Sometimes you just need to let off steam...
Avalon
Posts: 1247
Joined: Mon Jan 23, 2012 5:32 pm

Re: Had enough Trig

Postby Avalon » Mon Aug 11, 2014 7:08 pm

I understand that Belle. I hope that you have a change of heart and look up some private therapists..look in the counselling directory online and see which ones have concessions. Some will offer hugely reduced sessions and some won't. Mine is supposed to be £40 but is £10. Otherwise there are places that train counsellors that have free or nominal fees.
I can't stress enough that my therapy is what helps, I'm having long term psychotherapy now and there is no end date which means it will end when I want it to, when I feel ready.
Belle, you can't do this alone, it hurts too much x

belle
Posts: 5410
Joined: Sat Nov 19, 2011 11:20 pm

Re: Had enough Trig

Postby belle » Mon Aug 11, 2014 9:07 pm

Hi Avalon.
I'm glad you have such a good therapist - I know how much it helps.
I just can't face starting again and having to go through all the years of crap and desperation before getting to the place I'm at now. It has taken 10 months and a lot of courage and trust. I just want to 'tie up' some of the stuff with this therapist but time has run out.
Rang the Advocacy this afternoon to ask them to appoint someone to help me voice my needs. I can't fight them on my own any more. Waiting for them to get back to me.
I am almost sure the answer will be go away and pay for it....
If I could afford it the type of deal you have both financially and not time limited sounds really good.
I feel like I am in a 'plateau phase' from last week's episode but it could all kick off again tomorrow and I am just dreading it.
Thanks for the support.
xxx

Avalon
Posts: 1247
Joined: Mon Jan 23, 2012 5:32 pm

Re: Had enough Trig

Postby Avalon » Mon Aug 11, 2014 10:01 pm

keep fighting them belle. Keep on xx

belle
Posts: 5410
Joined: Sat Nov 19, 2011 11:20 pm

Re: Had enough Trig

Postby belle » Mon Aug 11, 2014 10:53 pm

Thank you Avalon xxx
I'll try - just remind me when I lose the plot again.
xxx

PureFrustr8d
Posts: 591
Joined: Fri Mar 28, 2008 11:21 pm

Re: Had enough Trig

Postby PureFrustr8d » Tue Aug 12, 2014 2:43 pm

Hi belle, thank you for the nice comment you said to me re my optimism :D

How are you today? Any plans?.

I'm Scottish but know what you mean re the French accent..for example the say 'I will sink about eet' for 'I will think about it' lol To the Frenchies it is I who has the accent and they often don't understand my French lol

I really think there is a lot to be said for reading, reading is like therapy to me. I have a lot of questions re what holds me back...the kind of things you'd discuss with a therapist. I've taken it upon myself for years now to find the answers. For example...one subject (two actually)...rejection and abandonment...there is a lot of interesting reads out there that have really helped me to get to grips with this and understand it better therefore understanding myself more. Knowledge is power.

Start with your diagnosis....read as much as you can (I'm sure you have already)
Then break down each of your symptoms and read all the possible causes
Read about triggers and how to identify them
Read about relapsing
Read about compassion
Read about the power of our thoughts and positive thinking
Read other peoples stories
Read about medication (I don't take any and won't again) (maybe sleeping pills)
Read about having control over your life
Read about change
Read about the growth of the personality
Read about how parents influence us
Reading about breaking habits
Read about emotional blockages
Read about patterns you see in your life
Read about the benefits of exercise
Read all the theories behind mental health troubles and why they continue...

I can go on and on... There is so much we can do for ourselves. From reading I can also identify a lot of things which are NOT true for me. Write down all your questions...that will help you to know what to read and if you have a problem concentrating read something about 'why can't I concentrate!'.

Now when I see my therapist I cut to the chase. Obviously because her English is limited as is my French I have to be direct and can't give the detail I would normally give but it does not hinder our appt.

You don't need anyone to help you understand yourself, you can do that by yourself but for some of the more important questions you have it's good to see things from other perspectives and feedback...and in general the emotional support a therapist can offer.

Take care.

Peace

belle
Posts: 5410
Joined: Sat Nov 19, 2011 11:20 pm

Re: Had enough Trig

Postby belle » Tue Aug 12, 2014 7:34 pm

Thank you.
That's a lot to think about.
Today my diagnosis after nearly 40 years apparently still isn't clear and has been questioned.
I don't know where I stand.
Just when I thought it couldn't get any worse.....
And, with questionable motivation, my fitness to drive has been raised.
I am beside myself because the little interaction I have with RL means I have to drive. I won't go into details.
Got back from the appt and have hidden in bed. Can't eat and have no source of help except on here - which I value - and feel very very scared.

Milky
Posts: 139
Joined: Tue Jun 24, 2014 11:40 pm

Re: Had enough Trig

Postby Milky » Fri Aug 15, 2014 8:37 am

Hi Belle haven't spoke to you in a while how are you today?

Sorry to hear things are still very tough, no change for me either. If anything i have gone backwards lately. I don't see how your ability to drive should be put at risk, it seems very unfair and i hope this gets dismissed.

When i am at my lowest i often go to bed to escape my thoughts while i sleep.

I hope you get the answers you are looking for with regards to a diagnosis and things get easier for you

x

belle
Posts: 5410
Joined: Sat Nov 19, 2011 11:20 pm

Re: Had enough Trig

Postby belle » Fri Aug 15, 2014 6:32 pm

Hi Milky.
Sorry things are no better for you. Xxx
Yes bed, swaddled by the duvet and stay there. I don't sleep but it feels a bit safer.
Had 2 slightly more positive appts since my last post on this thread but just bringing more worries.
Got to make my case for help and will use some of the ideas people have given on here.
Feels so humiliating to have to beg for help in front of these 4 professionals.
Hope things pick up for you somehow.
Xxx

belle
Posts: 5410
Joined: Sat Nov 19, 2011 11:20 pm

Re: Had enough Trig

Postby belle » Mon Aug 18, 2014 5:19 pm

Dread, panic, stress and distress completely overtaking me because of this meeting on Thursday.
Trying so hard to get it together but not coping very well.
I can't keep taking lorazepam.
Drowning in fear but not sure what frightens me the most anymore.
Rambling on.
Any positive vibes welcome.
Take care.
Xxx

Milky
Posts: 139
Joined: Tue Jun 24, 2014 11:40 pm

Re: Had enough Trig

Postby Milky » Tue Aug 19, 2014 1:48 am

Hi Belle,

Try to think of positive outcomes to your appointment Thursday and not to worry about the actual day itself. I have a few dates set in my calendar for tests, meetings with consultants etc and the waiting is the worst part and that is what raises my anxiety. I would be much happier if it could all be seen to tomorrow but i know that is not possible so i try not to think of possible bad news and hope for the best.

Is the Lorazepam to help you sleep or relieve anxiety during the day? I was given Zopiclone to help me sleep but i hated it, made me feel ill every morning after and i still woke up, ending up with memory loss as a result.

Not much has changed with me, here i am nearly 2 am woke up at 1 with major headache as usual, but at least i can come on to talk eh :)

Hope you are fast asleep and don't read this till morning and feeling a little less afraid!

x


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