Why what are you about to do?????
I still do care a great deal for him. But he refuses to see that and so let's his own MD keep on hurting me. The whole thing makes me crazy and around him I am as erratic as I ever was. I wish his MD didn't hate me. And I can't be put in vulnerable positions it makes me crazy. When I woke up in intensive care I immediately started shouting, I was so aggressive and it was because I was vulnerable.
Do people with DID have friends or does their darker side always dislike others or only enjoy hurting them?? Am I making you worse talking about all this? It probably is a little triggering. I find you the same, you raise a sadistic side in me, an angry one slightly but not towards you so much. Afterwards I feel bad for being that way. When i'm healthy i'm really loving and kind. I wish it would stay that way. If i had I wouldn't have run myself into so much trouble with my ex.
Are you happy other than the battle with DID what do you find pleasure in? can you concentrate on TV, books etc?
Just reading over my post I sound really cold and awful. I'm not like that and I do have a big heart and a lot of compassion. I feel really sorry about what went on and It wasn't just me being cruel. He was actually terrible to me and constantly hurt and rejected me and propelled something that was a bit of bi-polar a lot of insecurity and a fucked up childhood into awful paranoia and really ill mind. I'll never get over what he did to me and I lost everything except my family in the process. Yet I still care for him and he keeps fucking me over-like I said a part of me is weak
When did you develop DID? Do you think you've got worse? MD got worse? Do you think if my ex had DID my behaviour would have made him worse?
It's funny that you just suddenly go
It's like talking on the phone and someone just hanging up
It's not a complaint, obviously just do what you want as I will. I just think it's funny
Always good to talk to you PK
Happy wishes to wife and baby xxxxxxx