Search

Support Forum

SANE Support Forum

Welcome to the machine

Sometimes you just need to let off steam...
blix
Posts: 24
Joined: Wed May 16, 2012 10:43 pm

Welcome to the machine

Postby blix » Wed May 23, 2012 12:22 am

[um? trig*] "you stumble in my footsteps" Sometimes i wonder really is it me? Are we the ones that are ill or is it this utter lie and ******* we have to endure. No really. Take today, i got into a rage because 2 months ago i wrote a great letter for a job no response followed up no response 2 months later they offer me 2 jobs, one i'm over qualified for one i'm under, not even for the same job i wanted. They write come tomorrow so i have no notice, can't just pull a sickie at work because of all the drama already to do with my bi polar, so this upsets me and then to add insult to this they insist on great english and the best people but then the mail is riddled with typos and grammatical errors.

Is it me or is this hugely insulting?(p.s lower case i's in mine and english all deliberate!) And my lovely friend once again cannot see my point of view.

Ahhhh! No its unacceptable how can i go on like this? It sounds so tiny written here but it's not if you knew the whole story.
I'm supposed to respect myself in here but i'm a monster and an anarchist because i see the truth about everything and it really is them and us. Us have to obey. Yes i agree of course we need rules but it is a system of marginalisation. I'm so angry why can't you see me i think, why can't i be a success i think, don't i deserve it, i don't want much truly. I'm pathetic and weak, still not evolved still not accepting, still getting upset just like all of those people i don't respect.

One day detachment the ability to apply all those things from all those books i know are true.
One day happy. And asleep on time and not spinning like a record baby or on the see saw in fact not a kid any more.

Ah i didn't even get to tell you the ridiculous visualisation that had me laughing and got me out of this but i gotta go. Up early again. Sending you love and wishing you courage. ps some of those meds cause mega sunburn be careful.

deadchick07
Posts: 5029
Joined: Sun Dec 09, 2007 1:06 am

Re: Welcome to the machine

Postby deadchick07 » Wed May 23, 2012 12:31 am

hi blix,

that sounds annoying.

heres another potentially annoying comment, do you think all the stress has caused you to go a little manic? I only ask cos some of your writings were a little bog standard hypomanic, if you pardon the phrase.

are your meds up to date, and are you getting support to hold down a job?

its a bugger doing it on your own.


regards

DC

ps welcome to the boards :)
I'm not mad, I'm furious

When injustice becomes law, rebellion becomes duty

blix
Posts: 24
Joined: Wed May 16, 2012 10:43 pm

Re: Welcome to the machine

Postby blix » Wed May 23, 2012 12:51 am

um read your own quote then tell me darling! bog standard you mean the us and them bit right? nature of the capitalist company i work for, exploitation, deception and ineptitude in order to line their pockets, all my non "crazy" work colleagues lament about it we have for many years.
Oh yeah but none of that stuff happens in real life does it?

deadchick07
Posts: 5029
Joined: Sun Dec 09, 2007 1:06 am

Re: Welcome to the machine

Postby deadchick07 » Wed May 23, 2012 1:00 am

i actually meant your tendancy to rhyme and jump between comments, not the content in general.

just be careful, I know myself when i start going on a crusade im on a tightrope between being right and being high.

no harm intended.

so, not tired yet? me neither. :(
I'm not mad, I'm furious

When injustice becomes law, rebellion becomes duty

deadchick07
Posts: 5029
Joined: Sun Dec 09, 2007 1:06 am

Re: Welcome to the machine

Postby deadchick07 » Wed May 23, 2012 1:02 am

i must be tripping, cant see the comment that worried me now. just ignore me

no, no, i see it now, the bit about you spin me right round and see saw. sorry, meds messing with my eyes.
Last edited by deadchick07 on Wed May 23, 2012 1:04 am, edited 1 time in total.
I'm not mad, I'm furious

When injustice becomes law, rebellion becomes duty

umbrella4therain
Posts: 2829
Joined: Tue Apr 22, 2008 1:48 pm

Re: Welcome to the machine

Postby umbrella4therain » Wed May 23, 2012 1:02 am

Welcome. I can relate to the content but think dc is right with the way its written it seems like you are flooded with lots of ideas all at once.

blix
Posts: 24
Joined: Wed May 16, 2012 10:43 pm

Re: Welcome to the machine

Postby blix » Wed May 23, 2012 1:41 am

hey dc my apologies actually this is just how i am! Actually transactional analysis has a lot to say about this.. I apologise if i was rude, yes indeed i am struggling with rapid cycling and am elevated, I'm well aware thought i had nailed it over the weekend, yes on meds and all relevant people informed. I suppose i was trying to make an analogy between my chaotic feelings and musical lyrics.

I think i'm keeping it together then again i'm here in the middle of the morning tapping away. No no one i can talk to really. I am being careful and thanks i've had about 13years of this illness and many admissions : (.

blix
Posts: 24
Joined: Wed May 16, 2012 10:43 pm

Re: Welcome to the machine

Postby blix » Wed May 23, 2012 1:50 am

Umbrella glad you relate. But trust me my mania is epic i hope you never see it.
Truth is anything creative i'm on it and big on spiritual and personal growth. That's the problem it will never be enough for me to have a rubbish job to just survive I want to achieve my potential but when i get near, like icarus my wings set ablaze and i hurtle into the sea :(

deadchick07
Posts: 5029
Joined: Sun Dec 09, 2007 1:06 am

Re: Welcome to the machine

Postby deadchick07 » Wed May 23, 2012 8:26 am

I can empathise, I'm bipolar too.

nice to meet you Blix xx
I'm not mad, I'm furious

When injustice becomes law, rebellion becomes duty

umbrella4therain
Posts: 2829
Joined: Tue Apr 22, 2008 1:48 pm

Re: Welcome to the machine

Postby umbrella4therain » Wed May 23, 2012 11:16 am

I can relate to your comment on icarus too. welcome to the board. xx


Return to “Rant Room”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 13 guests