[um? trig*] "you stumble in my footsteps" Sometimes i wonder really is it me? Are we the ones that are ill or is it this utter lie and ******* we have to endure. No really. Take today, i got into a rage because 2 months ago i wrote a great letter for a job no response followed up no response 2 months later they offer me 2 jobs, one i'm over qualified for one i'm under, not even for the same job i wanted. They write come tomorrow so i have no notice, can't just pull a sickie at work because of all the drama already to do with my bi polar, so this upsets me and then to add insult to this they insist on great english and the best people but then the mail is riddled with typos and grammatical errors.
Is it me or is this hugely insulting?(p.s lower case i's in mine and english all deliberate!) And my lovely friend once again cannot see my point of view.
Ahhhh! No its unacceptable how can i go on like this? It sounds so tiny written here but it's not if you knew the whole story.
I'm supposed to respect myself in here but i'm a monster and an anarchist because i see the truth about everything and it really is them and us. Us have to obey. Yes i agree of course we need rules but it is a system of marginalisation. I'm so angry why can't you see me i think, why can't i be a success i think, don't i deserve it, i don't want much truly. I'm pathetic and weak, still not evolved still not accepting, still getting upset just like all of those people i don't respect.
One day detachment the ability to apply all those things from all those books i know are true.
One day happy. And asleep on time and not spinning like a record baby or on the see saw in fact not a kid any more.
Ah i didn't even get to tell you the ridiculous visualisation that had me laughing and got me out of this but i gotta go. Up early again. Sending you love and wishing you courage. ps some of those meds cause mega sunburn be careful.